How do you make a mimer to speak? Shot him in both knees and cut of he's ear

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What do you call a black guy that drives a plane? A pilot

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Knock Knock Who's there? ... No one, you have Schizophrenia

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If Daniel has 3 concaved man boobs, and Isabelle has 13 homosexual friends, what is the ratio of dolphins to African rapists? Wenis, because Jimmy was raped last night.

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Knock, Knock. I have no door.

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Whats worse than jizzing while your on a date? Shitting in you pants while your on a date.

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Why did the man go to the toilet with his brother? Because Mario and Luigi had to go down in it.

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How do you get a one armed man to fall out of a tree? Wave.

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A priest, an iman, a rabbi, a bishop and a Dalai Lama walk into a bar. Because they were of different faiths, racial slurs were thrown back and forth until they all left. They spent the rest of the night and most of the following day unhappy.

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what is worse then going to school farlingaye

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How do you flatten a worm? Feed it to a little boy, and then drop a refrigerator on him.

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Narrator: A ghost walks into a church. It is a Jewish church during a Friday night service. Huh. That ghost looks a lost like Hitler. Oh crap, everyone run for your lives! Stranger: GHOSTBUSTERS! Narrator: what, the, heck? Ghostbuster: let's kill some ghosts! Wait a minute. Adolf, is that you? Hitler ghost: John? Ghostbuster: Adolf, Buddy! Narrator:...... Hitler ghost: Hey, John! Wanna grab a drink? Ghostbuster: sure. let's get out of here. Narrator: This joke has officially lost all meaning. I don't even know why I'm submitting it any more! And get this! I AM HALF JEWISH!

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what is the world worst joke? this one

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Q: whats worse than a Muslim? A: a Jew

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, a dead baby is a horrible sight and shouldn't be laughed at.

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How do you finish your homework? Get your dog to eat it.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the hospital? A: The victim of a violent mob attack

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Maturity is a virtue.

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOUR MOM! Me: -is dead.

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Q: Why doesn't Micheal Jackson have orgasms? A: Because he's dead.

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how do you get someone out of a chair? hit him with a shovel

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What is worse than having sex with a dead baby in front of it's mother? Not a lot.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Tulips are red. My garden is on fire.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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