do you want to hear a joke?

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, And I'm blind.

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Hey, why are asians yellow and africans brown? I'm colorblind.

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Why couldn't the ten year old watch a porno movie? Because it was on blu-ray and his family only owned a regular dvd player.

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How do you avoid dying? You can't everything dies.

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The 13th Amendment...

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What did the one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers!!

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what did the asain have for dinner? A: rice

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what did the horse say to the bartender? why the short face?

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Yo mama is an upstanding member of her community.

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What do you get when an elephant and a penguin have a baby? Dunno, it's seems highly improbable.

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What's the difference between a wife and a chef? A chef has the choice to leave the kitchen.

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A dog and a bird are sitting in the front yard of a small suburban community. The bird turns to the dog and says nothing, because birds lack the ability to speak. The dog then reaches down and slowly consumes the bird before returning to his house.

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good one jess !!

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what do you get when you cross a scotsman who doe'snt know anything about football,and a indian who doe'snt anything about football .blackburn rovers , and a good night out.

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Two rabbis standing at the buffet cart. The first exclaims "Oy vey, those pork chops look good!". The second shrugs, turns to his friend and remarks, "So do your wife's norks".

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luke moore cant pull it back

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Why did the toast land butter side down. The devil visited earth that day and therefore everything that could go wrong did.

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What do you get when you cross North Korea and the boston marathon? BOMBS! :(

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Directions- I would be lost without you. Thank you for always being there for me.

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A caterpillar walks into a bar. I don't know how he opened the door.

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What's the difference between 6 and 7? 1.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. It is ignorant and offensive to judge the world of cardinal numbers, where protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary, by the standards of human societies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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