What did the man say to his wife at the funeral. Nothing, he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +12

a kid calls 911 and says ,"is this 911?" and the operator says ,"NO! THIS IS PATRICK!!!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I need a good anti joke....

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A king's son's birthday came one day and the king asked what he wanted. "You can have anything in the world son." He would say. The prince answered,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." So for his birthday he got a rollar costar, a new car, a water park, a castle, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. The same answer went out of his mouth for three years. One day the prince was driving in his car, and he got into a terrible car accadent. And while he was in the ER and saying his last words, his father asked,"Son, before you die, i must know, why did you want purple ping pong balls for your all of those birthdays?" And the prince said,"Well I wanted them because-" and then he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A bear walked into a bar, unfortunately there were no survivors.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: How do you stop a Mexican tank? A: Ask politely.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Does this napkin chloroform?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What kind of a prediction is THAT?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red, violets are blue God made me beautiful, how about you?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: A jew and asian and a normal white guy walk into a resturan, who orders the cheapest meal. A: the Asian, its 1940 and the jews dead

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q:what do you call a black man in a wheel chair? A: a war veteran who accidentally stepped on a land mine while trying to protect his country.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I saw a mexican drowning and saved him... as my screensaver ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats worse than 3 black people? 4 Black people

thumb_up thumb_down +10

milly, milly, milly, cat

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's faster than a black man with a TV? Light.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Bug? Four, maybe 3, depending on the size of each person.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why don't women need watches? Because most people carry cell phones that tells them the time making watches redundant and obsolete.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you know your sister is on her period? - Your dad´s dick tastes like blood.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What did zero say to the eight? A: Nice belt

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why could the boy not stop shaking? He has Parkinsons Syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What does it smell like, what does it feel like, do you like it? Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you know if a Frenchman has been in your house? You could ask a neighbor, or check to see if anything has been missing, or set up a camera. There are actually many ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops