How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None.

Stop being a centipede

your father died

(for comedians) I went to a coffee shop the other day. I ordered a coffee then sat down. Behind me there were two people talking. I didn't eves drop because it's impolite so I drank my coffee and left.

Person 1: What did the woman say when - Person 2: I know! It doesnt matter, shes a woman

Who did the Vampire bite? No one because vampires aren't real.

Whats worse then getting caught watching porn? 9/11

Why were Jews discriminated against for thousands of years? They weren't supposed to. Jews are people just like you and me. And for every ignorant person out there that hates Jews, you better watch your back because God is watching you.

yo mommas so ugly that everyone died.

Why did Lady Gaga arrive at the Grammy's in an egg? Because she was born that way.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, racist.

This guy says: "Doctor doctor, it hurts when I do this!" He jiggles his arm and screames in pain. The doctor replies: "Well, don't do it then!"

Hitler: Ve shud vork togeza and place stategic bombs overr your island. Castro: You are dead.

If an atom bomb falls in a town, does it make a sound? Not to most people, as they would be killed in a massive catastrophe that will be etched into their ancestors minds for years to come, not to mention radiation poisoning and deformation.

What do you get when you cross an intersection? Possibly a lower leg contussion, ACL tear, breaks in 4 different sections of your arm and lots of brain swelling if you are hit by a car.

What do you call a loser on a game? A Dirty Hacker

What do you call a mexican driving a plane? Well.. nothing because you can't drive plane's but if a Mexican man was able to FLY a plane, he would be a pilot.

DAMMIT MY IPHONE IS IN REPAIR AND I CANT GET THE APP!!!!!!!

A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Yes" the man replies, because he is aware that the bartender wasn't actually asking if the day way long, but rather if the day was hard.

A black guy and a Mexican are in a car. who's driving? The black guy because he just turned 16. His school mate the Mexican child is still only 15 and he will have to wait a few more months before he can drive.

Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? Interrupting Cow Jones.

why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms why did no one pick her up? she was an orphan why did she drown? puddle...

Whats the difference between a Black man and a White man Skin color and possibly many other things because that is reasonable and normal.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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