Why is the fat kid laying on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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Q.whats the differecne between a bicycle? A. orange,...a vest dont got no sleeves.

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A man finds an old lamp, rubs it, and releases the genie trapped inside. The genie grants him three wishes. So the man wishes for a million more wishes and uses them all wisely,

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Son: Dad what does it mean to f***? Dad: Jimmy! don't use that kind of language.. use the word chainsaw instead. Son: Ok, well what does it mean to chainsaw? Dad: Well as you know, God created people, he started with Adam and eve and then he- Son: You keep referring to god as a he, are you suggesting that God has a penis? I guess that would explain the big bang theory... right? get it? Dad: ... Go chainsaw yourself, Jimmy.

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O.J. Simpson. What would you do in that situation?

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If your flying upstream in a kayak and a wheel flys off, how many pancakes can fit into a dog house? None, because ice-cream is alergic to frogs!

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Why was seven afraid of eight? Because eight nine ten.

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What did the Hobo get for Christmas? Nothing,He celebrated Hanukkah.

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Two blonds are driving to Disneyland. While there driving they see a sign "Disneyland: left" So they started crying and headed back home.

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock... Who's there? Not Suzy.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: How should I know?

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A politician from the National Country Party keeps interjecting - "I'm a country member, i'm a country member' "yes we remember" says Gough whitlam

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knock knock whos there jew jew who JEW YOU

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What did the priest say to the kid? You can tell your dog but nobody else, ok?

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Why did Eve eat the fruit first? Because women are whores.

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So the docter saw the girl had a "M" on her chest during surgery. He asked her if he had a boyfreind from Michigan. She said "no, but i have a girlfreind from winsconsin, why do u ask?"rf

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Q: Why is it sad that nobody was injured in a train crash? A: Because everyone died

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What did the kid with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? A: Polio.

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What do get when you cross a lion and tiger? A liger. This hybrid mammal, only observed in captivity, is the largest of all known felines and is thought to be sterile.

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Roses are red Violets are buckets This poem makes no sense Boobs

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What's the worst part about censorship? **** *** **** **** *** **** *** ********.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. It was a dead monkey.

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Q: What do you do if A bunch Of black Guys Are raping a white Girl A: Throw A Basketball at them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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