One day my dog ran away. We drove around for a long time looking for it.

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What did the officer say to the black man? You're under arrest.

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Why did the dog smile? It didn't. Humans are the only creatures on planet Earth capable of smiling, therefore, dogs are unable to smile.

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How do you stop an alcoholic from drinking ? You leave him in the desert for 4 days, eventually he'll die from dehydration .

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How do you kill a mocking bird? You throw an axe at it.

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Wow, that makes your name a lot more comfortable to say... Not type, and you seem to be more sensitive than non-red hair girls. Besides its really nice, why do you dye it? Is it like red or ginger?

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How do you make a blonde happy? Do something that causes that person to release endorphins.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm extremely unstable. And So are you.

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How do you get a Blonde to switch seats with you? Ask her politely.

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hi

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Why doesn't Rosa Parks eat bacon? Because she's dead.

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Q: What do you call a white guy cooking a dinner? A: A chef

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What happened to the starving african kid? He died

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out it's an orange

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Person 1: You know whats funny? Person 2: No! What? Person 1: A joke!

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what do you call a 2-foot blue scottishman named max? max

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What's the difference between a cake and Jews? A cake comes out of the oven.

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Four rats are smoking in an alley. One rat turns to another and comments, "These are some fine smokes. Where'd ya score these?" The rat holding the pack of Menthols replies, "Off a' Fred." He points to a rotting whale carcass in the road. The other rats are horrified. "How did a whale die in the street?!," they squeak. "He didn't. He died on the beach."

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Tuberculosis

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Your mother is so unintelligent that her IQ score is equal to or lower than 2 standard deviations below the national average of 100 on the Mensa approved intelligence test that has been properly administered and supervised.

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POO IS LARGE WHEN IT COMES OUT OF ME

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Q:theres a man on a tight rope 3000 feet above ground and theres a man getting head from a 90 year old women with no teath. what did they both say? A: dont look down.

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A Palestinian and an Israeli both board a plane at the same time. They exchange awkward glances and take seats at different ends of the plane.

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what is the difference between coke and pepsi? -they are competing soft drinks made by different brands

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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