Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because it was holding hands with the monkey. Why were the monkey and the sloth holding hands? Because they were best friends.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

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Why couldn't the 1 year old talk? It's a 1 year old, idiot, it can't!

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Why don't NBA basketball players shake hands after a game like players in NHL hockey...? ...Because it's a tradition in then NHL.

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What is black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Not black berries because black berries come from a bush.

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a swing set? No? Well neither did she.

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What do you call a Nazi in an airplane? Above sea level

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What is big, white, and hurts when it falls from the sky? A FRIDGE

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Question: What did one lesbian say to the other lesbian at the grocery store? Answer: Will that be paper or plastic?

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What's the difference between a duck?

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i have a black person in my family tree he is still hanging

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The daring man said "here goes nothing." And nothing happened. -Tag

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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Jews

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Do you like flowers NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOW GET ME A COKE! And a pizza

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Who is so stupid they could literally be classified as mentally retarded? Evan Lovro

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did the Mexicans climb the fence? They were tossing frisbee and accidentally threw it into their neighbors yard.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? The same number it would take people with any other hair color.

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Why do black people like Basketball so much? Because it is a sport participated world wide. They just happen to like it too.

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What do you call a Muslim running a country? Obama

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None.

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roses are red violets are black i hope your chest is not as flat as your back.

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Guess what I saw today?..........Nothing I'm Blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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