Whats worse than a paper cut? Nine/Eleven

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If no means yes and yes means no, what is yes? Yes

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What is the Civil War called in Virginia? The War of Northern Aggression.

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womens rights

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1:Nice comeback. 2: If I wanted my cum back, I would get it off your mom's face

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say this really fast D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I CK, D I C K IF YOU CANT LIKE IT

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A man walks into a bar. Another man walks into a bar.

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Johnson stops eating

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was taken to a factory where it was butchered, processed and eventually fed to America.

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A Jewish guy walked into a bar... and said "ow"

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A; On the other side was another beautiful looking chicken who he plans to marry and raise a family with.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says "Why the long face?" The horse, being unable to understand the barman, breaks a table and shits on the floor.

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Why did the jew pick up the unicorn lying on the sidewalk? Because he dropped it.

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Knock Knock Who's There Santa Santa Who? I stole your dog.

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Why couldnt jim jump rope? His feet were nailed to the ground.

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I just flew in from Chicago and boy are my legs cramped

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Ask me if i'm a tree... "Are you a tree?".... No

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Guess how old my lil bro is...Well your wrong cause he's dead.

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A dolphin walked into a bar, wait. . . dolphins can't walk, or go to bars.

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A Tatooine moisture farmer, an old man, an astromech droid, and a potocol droid walk into a cantina at Mos Eisley Space Port. The bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve their kind here! Your droids will have to wait outside." The moisture farmer then says to his droids, "Why don't you wait out by the speeder, we don't want any trouble." The protocol droid replies, "I heartily agree, sir."

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Why did I have sex with your mom? Because she was a beautiful individual with a fine taste in the classical arts. She also offered me a ride to her place for a delicious 3 course meal. Afterwards our romance blossomed and we decided to have sexual intercourse to show our mutual appreciation for each other.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why couldn't the man speak any English? Because not everyone can.

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Oh, I must be hearing things.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops