How its supposed to go: Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mopwho? How my friend Cassidy did it: Knock knock Who's there? I eat my poo! Oh wait I screwed up.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 'Cause 7 slept with 8 and punched 4 in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

knock knock who's there police

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call something with no legs? A Cripple.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: What do you call a dog after the dentist? A: A dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Where do you find a one-legged cat? Right where you left it.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Out of all the sadness and death in the world...do you know what the worst part is? Mexicans are still hoping the border...

thumb_up thumb_down +18

daniel thinks 30 rock is funny

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you teach your daughter to stop wetting the bed? Cut her best friends eye-lids off at her birthday party.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call cheese that isn't your's? Someone else's cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Dear Board of education, so are we.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the blonde say when she tripped down the stairs? Nothing she was unconscious and had a serious concussion.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the cancer patient do during Willow Smith's "Whip My Hair"? -Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Doris want to father children? Because she wanted to have a fry-up with the leftover baby oil

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Not Steve Jobs

thumb_up thumb_down +16

guess what chicken butt

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why should people with Alzheimer's not tell jokes? .......................................................................................................................................... SEVEN EIGHT NINE!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

When crossing the river, why the old lady die? She was hit by a falling brick that fell from an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How does Bob Marley like his donuts? He doesn't, he tragically died of melanoma in 1981.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the stupid blonde run straight into oncoming traffic? because there was a small child there that could have been seriously injured.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the black kid get for Christmas? A bike that his father paid for with the salary he made as an accountant at a local bank.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

THere was three bees eating Honeynut cherrios one of them had a speech impediment.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops