What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, animals can't talk.

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What eats dicks for dinner and smells like he just licked an STD infested turtle? Jimmy

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas ? Cancer

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Why didn't Steve finish his homework? He didn't want to.

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Person A - I farted Person B - YUCK

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A priest, a rabbi, and a whale sit down at a bar. The priest says to the bartender, "Jesus Christ is our savior." The rabbi responds, "No. Our savior has not yet been born." To which the whale adds, "MMMUUURRRAAAAAAOOOUUU!!!"

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Knock Knock! Who's there? So. So who? Cares.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw an eatable life form.

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miley cyrus

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An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

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You're momma's so fat, Oh wait. She's not.

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So horse walk into a bar. The barkeep says "Look horse. You cant be in Here. You're too big and you're going to hurt someone....Its just not gonna work out."

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Did you hear the story about the divorcee who was concerned about ecology? Her husband had been hitting her. Good for her to get away from that kind of abuse.

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How did the man with no arm and no legs get to the store? Well he certainly didn't walk.

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You're mom is so black... that she is most likely of African Descent

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What did the orange elephant with 6 legs say? Kill me.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a knife Take off your clothes

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JEWS

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If you added up all of the grains of sand in all the beaches of the world, how many would there be? Anyone?

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb 500 , 1 to hold the lightbulb, 499 to spin the house

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What did the cancer patient do during Willow Smith's "Whip My Hair"? -Nothing.

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Weiner

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What's chris benoit doing? Just hangin in the gym

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The mailman saw little Johnny sitting on the side of the street with an old coffee can Mailman: What do you have in that can there? Johnny: dog shit Mailman: what the fuck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops