:O + :P = 69

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Women.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? "Hey Joe, how's the family?"

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Why can't santa fit down a chimney? No one can

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Why could the red-haired boy sing higher notes than the blonde-haired boy? He was castrated at birth.

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How many times have I told you not to do that? Fourteen.

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Roses are red Violets are blue who are you kidding, violets are violet

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Yo mom's so fat, she's overweight !

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there were 2 sausages in a frying pan. One sausage says it sure is hot in here. The other one says WTF a talking sausage!

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Knock Knock Who's there its me... we need to talk go away tod. i told you never to come back here babe, just open the door why? so you can beat me again? i said i was sorry! i just want to see my little girl... well maybe you should of been there for us! babe... i love you you lying son of a bitch... you dont deserve us open the damn door or i will beat it down im calling the cops YOU BETTER NOT BITCH! I WILL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU! tod... please... get out come here no... NO! get the hell off of me!!!! HELP!! RAPE!! RAPE!!! SHUT UP WHORE (crying) please... please... ...mommy? SARAH! GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! MOMMY LOVES YOU! ooh.. theres my little girl. you miss daddy? GET AWAY FROM HER!!! SHUT UP BITCH! come give daddy a hug what have you done to mommy? what you want some too? SARAH I SAID GET OUT THE HOUSE! GET HELP! ...mommy im scared... (sob) oh your crying? you want something to cry about? OH ILL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT! .... you better get the hell out of here tod.. whoah... babe where did you get a gun GET OUT babe... put the gun down... relax NO YOU RELAX! all these years ive been raising this baby. without you. all by myself. and i dont want you in the picture now. ILL DO WHAT I DAMN WELL PLEASE ill see you in hell... (BANG) (BANG)

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if x marks the spot, what does y do? y does the laundry.

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What disease did the gay man get from his partner? Streptococcus!

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Q: "What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?" A: Dr. Dre

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Why couldn't the blonde drive? Because she was 14, thus incapable of having a drivers license

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What is a man with no arms and no legs on a pile of leaves? A quadriplegic who enjoys the fall.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin getting crushed by a sledgehammer.

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Why couldn't the pirate boy see the movie? He was blind.

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How u know when ur sister have periods... Fathers dig taste like blood

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What is the difference between a black guy and a road? One you put tar on and the other one is a road

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Q:Whats the difference between a black man and a park bench? A: A park bench can support a family.

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#1 rule in arguments: if losing, start correcting their grammar

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What's the diffrents beetween a carrot and a dead baby? One I like to eat in my soup, the other one s a carrot.

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A bus full of orphans falls off a cliff.

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Why did Sam have no friends? Because he was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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