So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

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a black guy a chinese guy a jewish guy and a gay guy are standing on a ledge. they are all ready to jump off and commit suicide. suddenly a basketball falls from the sky. the black guy is like oh shit that my bball. he cant resist, he jumps off the ledge, grabs the ball, spins in mid air, and shoots it through the window that they came out of. then he falls to his death. the other three guys are questioning whether they wanna actually kill themselves when all of a sudden a jiggly dildo flies past. the gay guy sees it, and he needs it in his butthole. he jumps off, grabs the dildo, shoves it in his ass, and falls to his death. the chinese and the jew are the last alive. they decide that they dont want to die and they start crawling back towards the window. then out of nowhere, two quarters and a nickel shoot up from the ground, right in front of them. the jew needs them. he jumps off the ledge and pockets the change. then he falls to his death. the chinese guy is the last one alive. he jumps off and falls to his death.

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How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm? You look for the black guy.

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How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 5.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken crossed the road accidentaly as chickens are absent minded.

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she wasn't 18

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What do you call a black man sitting on his porch in the middle of the night playing a guitar? A Musician.

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A blonde walks into a bar... Typical

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Cancer.

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Recent US presidents (and their accompanying economy)

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What's the difference between a baseball player on the Yankees, and one on the Red Sox? One was named Jeff, the other wasn't.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An Astronaut.

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Why didn't the firefighter put out the fire? Because he wasn't a very good firefighter.

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From the makers of Call of Duty 1, comes Call of Duty 2.

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w.f.t im not dislecsik ........ .......................................................................

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A man with Alzheimers favorite thing to read is the first page of the antijoke book

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How did Muhammed Ali get into Professional Boxing? With a lot of hard work and dedication.

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they turned around and went home

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Why was the black woman poor? Well, she grew up in a wealthy family, but both of her parents died. Her new parents were not very supportive and she began to not care about school. She did not go to college because of this and was not able to get a job. Therefore, she had no money.

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A black man walks into a bar. It turns out he is a notorious serial killer and he procedes to violently murder everyone in the bar.

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yo mama's so fat her stomach mass weighs more than people who dont have as much fat as her.

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Hey, Max!!

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Imagine: You are trapped in a prizon cell with no doors, no windows, no furniture and completely sealed in with nothing. What do you do? Stop imagining!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops