There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

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What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

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What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

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What is the similarity between John W. Booth and Pee Wee Herman? They both got arrested for shooting someone in the back of the head in the theater.

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on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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why did the family get sick?? because i fucked a girl with a parsnip then sold the parsnip to a family with 4 small children

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why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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H2O corndogs running around naked CC

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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What do Lincoln, JFK, and Barack Obama all have in common? They were all president of the United States of America and are relatively good people.

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A man walks into a bar, buys a pint of beer, talks to his friends for while and leaves.

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What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

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i wonder who made this website? a human

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What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

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Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

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What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

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whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is hard to know things like that.

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Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

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Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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Yo mama so stupid, she scored poorly on her SAT exams in high school. She was unable to recieve a college education. She now works as a full time waitress at a small diner. She earns minimum wage and is still getting nowhere on her search for a better job.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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