What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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knock knock whos there the game __i lost the game__

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

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The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

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What's the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The anti-Joke isn't a freaking joke. So stop freaking doing it!

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Here comes the bride, all dressed in white. Here comes the groom, carrying a broom, because somebody spilled something on the floor.

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rose's are red violets are blue I have touretts blblblblblblblblbbl

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Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

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whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black person on a bike? Its probably your bike.

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What did the boy say after smoking weed for the first time? -"I don't really feel anything" and his friends explained that is sometimes the case for a first time smoker.

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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