What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

Apple hates Blackberry.

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

Why is purple the best color. Cuz icecream has no bones

Why did the cow hail a taxi? Because cows can't drive.

Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

what's the difference between a zebra and a horse They are spelled differently

Why was the sock sad? Impossible. Socks dont have emotions.

How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

What's the easiest way to get a cat out of a tree? Call the fire department and allow them to safely reach the cat and properly extract it from the tree while you watch from below.

what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

Why do black guys always have sex on their mind? Because they are men.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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