Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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How do you get someone to paid attention to etys You don't, there is no such thing as retys

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why did the Chinese guy take steroids? He didn't he's naturally small.

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dat shoe shine tho

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what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

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Yo mama is so fat she lost 100 pounds and now she's not fat.

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Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Joe Barkley. Joe Barkley who? ...

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Love and attention from his parents.

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

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What is a taco made out of? A. Various ingredients ranging from cheese to sour cream.

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

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What's the difference between a microwave and hamster? They're both furry except for the microwave

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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Haikus are easy Im happy when I write them Thats pretty much it

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What did the average man say the the bird? HOODINI

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What are the differences between a black man and a park bench? One's a chair and ones a person.

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why was the boy sad he had a frog stapled to his face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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