Roses are Red Violets are Blue Even though I can't tell Because I am color blind

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A Jew walks into a bar...He uses his coupon to get a free drink, then leaves.

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Why are women such horrible drivers? Their hair gets in the way.

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Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

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An egg and a sausage walk into a bar, and the barman says "sorry, we don't serve breakfast".

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

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At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

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A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

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Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

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What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

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How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

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awkward moment when someone pretends to be Mr. Bear and stuffs up his own joke

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Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

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Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

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Why did the Old Lady cross the road? Because the worm selected her as a weapon

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How does an asian man drive? He hops into the car, turns the ignition, slowly accelerates from his parking spot and merges into everyday traffic

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yo mamma's so fat she's fat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

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What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

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A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

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Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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