Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

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what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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awkies when jamie and jacob hook up, and u have to tell the dog..i maen danni that this has been going on for 2 months

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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So yesterday i walked into a bar, so what?

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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Why did Valter fall of the swing? Because he didn't have any arms Knock knock Whos there? Not valter

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

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How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies in a truck? A: A pile of dead babies in a truck with one alive in the middle eating his way out.

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See you later... Just joke I'm blind

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What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He did it for fitness.

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How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

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Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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