Why don't sharks attack lawyers? Professional Courtesy

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How did the black man get into college? A mop.

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Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

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"Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave."

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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I have two coins in my hand that add up to 30 cents, and one of them is not a nickel. I accidentally dropped them.

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A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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Repeat after me... I'matote ulbu twad Now say that all together Im a total butt wad

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So, Helen Keller walked into a bar....and then a stool, and then a counter, and then a table....

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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Let's play twenty questions. Alright, but I have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally raped and murdered 8,9,10, and 11 along with their families.

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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Why did the cow fall Cause a fat kid pushed him over

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What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? Elephino. It just isn't relephant.

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One man asked another man what his favorite sport was. The man replied: " My favorite sport is golf." "Golf requires no physical strength, therefore I do not count it as a sport." Said the man who asked the question.

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Why can't Anne Frank write a sequel? Because she's dead.

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Dislike if you are a prostitute

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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