Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

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What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

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What did the black boy wear for Halloween? A costume.

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Hickory dickory dock, The mouse ran up the clock, Barbara called the exterminator, Who killed all 10 of them.

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what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches

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HAHAHAHAHAHA.....shut up your joke isn't better.

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What happened to Kanye West when he interrupted a KKK ritual meeting? He was promptly hung from a tree for being a negro.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

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Roses are red violets are blue. I'm falling in love with you.

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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Huffing glue only becomes a problem when you get stuck on it

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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