Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

Did the single mother survive the plane crash? No.

What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

Q: Why do Asian children tend to be smarter than other children A: They have longer school years

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

Cripples are lame.

SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

What does a black kid get for Christmas? Your bike

What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

Sometimes Jamie wishes he could be a different person. He wishes he didnt have to eat dick everynight but it was all to late. He had to take it down the throat but he enjoyed the tickle it gave him

whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

What did the paraplegic say when he walked? Nothing, paraplegics can't walk.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

I have a very serious problem with my narcolepsy. I occasionalolahdf;honainbirgnipqgierngiaqbhgpqruiph

A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

jack be nimble jack be quick jack is a parapeligic.....there's no need for more

What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

why did the baby fall down the steps? Because there was big earth quake that blocked his parents on the other side of the house, therefor leaving no one capable of getting to him befor falling

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...