If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

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Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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A man walks into a bar. After recovering, he sues the bar for it's irregular glass doors.

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If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

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How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

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Cripples are lame.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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rose's are red violets are blue I have touretts blblblblblblblblbbl

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Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

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42

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What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

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Q: Whats the difference between a trash can full of dead babies, and a porch? A: A porch isnt in my garage.

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Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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What is worde then swallowing a slipper? Swallowing a granny to catch the slipper

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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