How long did it take the man to swim the Atlantic? I don't know. Everybody stopped counting after a while and went on with their lives. His body was never found.

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What do trees and people have in common? If you hit them enough times with an axe they will fall over.

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A deaf man is listening to the radio. Think about it.

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What do you get if you cross a goat with a horse? Long letters of complaints by animal rights groups

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A baby walks into a bar and the bartender says.... Where is your mom?

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How do you make a sausage roll? Wrap some sausage meat in a pastry dough made of plain flour, water, salt and fat, and bake it in an oven.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a worm on the other side. And the more pressing question is why do i watch a chicken in my free time

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what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

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What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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What did the little boy get from his parents on Christmas? Nothing. His parents died 2 nights before in a tragic car crash.

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What did the cow say to the chicken crossing the road? Moo

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? Porn

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Women's rights.

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Your mother is so fat, we needs two fat jokes to adequatly make fun of her.

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What dinosaur makes honey? The Bee Rex.

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Why was the little girl crying in the woods at night? There was psychotic killer chasing her with a chainsaw.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Two in the front, three in the back, and 278 in the ash tray/\.

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What's the relationship between a frog and a building? They have nothing to do with each other so stop trying to figure out this query.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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why do german shower have eleven holes? jews have 10 fingers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops