Knock knock. Who's there? Apple. Apple who? Apple juice.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

An innocent man's home was raided by police, who accused him of grand theft auto. It turns out it was just a case of mistaken identity.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the blonde run into a screen door? Because screen doors are difficult to see when one is running at full speed

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you get a dog to obey your rules?¿¿? Threaten to beat it with a rod!¡!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

a kid was running across the street. he just got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How many ecotards does it take to change a light globe? Ve Vill Change all ze light globes to use;less grey vuns and you vill luv it or else ve vill kill you to save ze planet

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I can't remember if I have Azheimer's or not.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you do when you walk downstairs and see your TV floating? Call Ghostbusters.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happened the homeless guy's home? A meteor fell on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why is it so bad that the bus fell off the cliff? All my friends were on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Let's get some comments on this one! Everyone add a comment with a quote from a movie! I'll thumbs-up the best comments!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

how do you make time fly? throw a clock out a window.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why couldn't the child with down syndrome zip up their jacket.... it was a button jacket ... you asshole

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Fool me once, shame on you Fool me twice, shame on me Fool me 3 times, oh now you're just being a jerk

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did Jimmy cross the road? Because a chicken was about to cross the road, and he wanted to be kind and help the old 72-aged chicken get across the road. Because Jimmy had a grandfather that passed away because he was too old and nobody helped him cross the road. Jimmy is haunted by that memory and doesn't want that to happen to anyone else. Especially a chicken.... Also there were no cars and his best friend chicken was on the other side waiting for him.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? we are both lawyers

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Two attractive women were getting ready to visit the gym. On the way there, they stopped at a local sports store to purchase some new shorts, and they got it at a good discount price

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops