When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

What happened When The lion asked the dog of a soda can? The giraffe who is taller the lion or the whos the fastest?

Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

What did your mom get for christmas ? A stairstepper.

chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

What does a Twihard, a Brony, a Belieber and a Gleek all have in common? They all ruin the Internet.

Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

Blind jokes are not funny! I just don't see the humor in them

Fat? Jesse Z

why cant black people swim? I dont know but they killed my family

A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

Q: Whats the best part of a bald pussy? A: After you put the diaper back on you perv!

.der era sesoR .eulb era steloiV .sdrawkcab nettirw saw ecnetnes sihT .yrgnuh m'I won dnA

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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