A lady with alzheimers walks up to her friend and says" my nefew died today" and her friend replied.. " no he died three years ago."

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Why can't Kim and Arnold get childern ? because they are 2 stones.

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Why did the child cry? His sister just left for college

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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Q:What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A:Lick-a-lotta-pus

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Two elephants were out flying. Then one elephant said to the other: My grandmother has a pink toothbrush!

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Why did Suzie fall off the swings? Because she didn't have arms or legs. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

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There is no "i" in "team," but there are two in "indigo."

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Roses are red violets are blue make me a sandwhich so i can eat it

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What did the child molestor do? He went home and molested children.

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Why were Billy's parents laughing at him? Because he was just diagnosed with cancer!

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Let's play twenty questions. Alright, but I have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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A black guy, a jew, and an asian walk into a bar, have a beer each, and then leave, because they have high-paying jobs and don't want to risk getting DUIs.

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What's the worst part about being a black Jew? You have to sit at the back of the oven.

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What Did The Hobo Get For Christmas? A Welcome Home Mat.

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Why did the Germans conquer Poland so quickly? Heavy military manufacturing and Blitzkrieg battlefield tactics.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Your parents are dead. And happy birthday!

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Your mama is so fat but she is also a very kind and friendly person so her weight doesn't bother me at all,

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An American, a Canadian, an Afro-American and a Jew walk in a bar. They all order their favorite drink and go look for potential partners with whom they'd wish to engage in sexual relationships.

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What did the black guy, the Mexican guy, and the Chinese guy have for lunch? A sandwich

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baby on board sign?? target aquired.............

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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