How do you stop a dog from barking? Cut it's head off

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What do you call hunter ? An anerexic that is skinny as a tooth pick. Duh

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how many black people can you fit in a car? However many sets there are.

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Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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why did rosa parks get moved to the back of the bus? she didnt call shotgun

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ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

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1234567890? ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

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Why did the dish run away from the spoon? None of them ran neither one has legs

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Roses are red They can be white too Violets are not blue They are violet

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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guess what what ...

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Sometimes i like to stand on my chair and pretend that i am a carrot.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

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Why didnt Steve Jobs make an iphone 5? He died

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Why did the Football Coach go to the Bank?? To Cash his Paycheck.

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Why are many frogs green? Because yes they are.

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What did Jim do after the police gave him a ticket? He followed them home and used their children's limbs to rape them.

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So a bar walks into a man...

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Q. Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? A. Because they're actually becoming generally obsolete with the advent of the cell phone.

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Knock Knock No solicitors

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, it's not that hard.

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deez nuts

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Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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