Knock knock? Who's there? You have cancer.

Chuck Norris has a chin under his beard.

Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death

What's black and White and black and White? A nun falling down a stairs

Why were the black mans hands all sticky? He was helping orphans with arts and crafts

How did the drug addict die? He got shot in a drive-by.

Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

Why did the horse insult the postage stamp? He didn't. Horses can not speak English nor can anything verbally or physically critique a postage stamp and make it feel any emotional distress.

Why was Reed sad? His mother has a penis

Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

A man says to his doctor, "doctor, doctor, I think I have a split personality." The doctor responds, "That makes 4 of us."

I like my wine like I like my children... Eight years old and locked in a cellar

Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

What do you say to a homeless man sat in a train station? That there is a homeless shelter around the corner.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: She was going to speek at a PETA meeting about the cruel conditions of chicken farms. I hit her with my car

Your momma is so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree, because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree, becuase it was dead. why did the third monkey fall out of the tree, because he thought it was a game!

Knock knock. Who's there? Jack. Honey, Jacks here, will you get the door?

Yo mamma is so ugly, but your father was willing to look past that. They fell in love and you were born about a year after they got married.

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away." "I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

What is worse than Jerry Sanduski? Nothing

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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