"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

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Yo momma's so hot I raped her and slit her throat afterwards and hid her body in a ditch.

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork. Whats better than catching a baby with a pitchfork? Eating it afterwords.

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What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

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What's sad about a truck passing behind a duck? A: Behind the Duck were the Ducklings.

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You know whats funny about 9/11? Nothing.

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Where do babies come from? You fathers penis.

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A loving father took his two children to the park for a picnic. while the children went into the lake for a swim he drowned them both

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Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

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Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

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What happened when the car hit the man? He died.

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What is black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, bleeding, mixed race babies.

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Did you fall from heaven? Because you look like Satan.

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why was the mother sad? her sons school was bombed by terrorists. there we no survivors

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Q: Why does it take three Polacks to change a light bulb? A: Because they're so damn stupid.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

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Do you want to hear a joke, Women's rights

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Q : Who is the most famous celebrity, Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber? A : Neither, because they are just fads.

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What did the frog say when he heard his family was dead? "ribbit"

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Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

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Why did the black man cross the road? To escape from his owner.

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How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

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Whats green and gets you really high? A green airplane

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:Knock Knock :Who's there? :....... No one was there because they were ding dong ditchers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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