Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

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teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

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What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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You dropped something.... Yo lip

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Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? They're really good at it

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because if he stayed on the farm, he would have been condemned to a miserable life, subjected to deplorable living conditions and an eventual pain-filled death by the hand of a cruel and heartless farmer. Crossing that road was his only chance of salvation.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Why did Emily sit in a lonely corner? Because she just wanted to okay!

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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How to open an orange? You don't you peal it

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Why don't sharks attack lawyers? Professional Courtesy

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A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

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I have two coins in my hand that add up to 30 cents, and one of them is not a nickel. I accidentally dropped them.

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"Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave."

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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Repeat after me... I'matote ulbu twad Now say that all together Im a total butt wad

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? Elephino. It just isn't relephant.

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Why can't Anne Frank write a sequel? Because she's dead.

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Why did the cab driver talk about the Holocaust? Because he began to shart his pants while singing pocket full of sunshine as a royal blue pancake swerved across the terrain.

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Why did the cow fall Cause a fat kid pushed him over

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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