Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and way, along came a spider who sat there beside her and asked, "Hey bitch what's in the bowl?"

Knock knock? Who's there? Why don't you answer the damn door and find out for yourself?

Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

What do you call literature that's depressing and hard to read? ...a valued part of the English curriculum

What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

I hate when people see me at the store and are like "What are you doing here??" and Im just like, "Oh, you know, hunting elephants..."

Jerry Sandusky walks up to the reception desk at a day care center. What does the lady at the desk say? Nothing, she promptly gives Mr. Sandusky his son and they leave.

Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

What do you call a homosexual in a wheelchair? A cripple

What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

Feminism

What do a helicopter and a banana have in common? They are both edible. Except for the helicopter.

Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

What do you call a rich black person? A: Oprah

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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