Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

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A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, drinks it, and leaves.

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What is worse than getting hit by a car? Getting hit by a truck

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Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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Why did the bus drop his icecream? He was hit by a boy

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what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? The bench can support a family of 4?

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A man and a woman walk into a bar... They both die from cerebral hemorrhages.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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i saw amango it splootered

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Why did the girl stop running? Because she is in a wheelchair and will never walk again

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what did the chicken say when it crossed the road? you know. chickens arent the only animal that can cross roads! why can it be why did the racoon cross the roads? because that happens more frequently!

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what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

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What do you call a black man running really fast down a street? Active.

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A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

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The awkward moment when you find your wife on the online dating site you are on.

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

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Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops