What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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Why was 95 lb jack able to chug so fast? Because he is a diabetic

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Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

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Granny P-O-R-N!!!!

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What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

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What do you call a joke that isnt funny? This one.

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

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there once was a man, he was old, and he had one wish...do you wanna know that wish? Well i don't know it because he died two seconds ago from a heart attack. Oh Well...

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What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

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How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

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Knock Knock? Come in.

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FIONN'S ECONOMICS GRADE

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Hey guess what? What? You're a Tree.

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civil rights

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why did George Bush climb the Statue of Liberty? I'm not sure, as this incident is not covered in any of the myriad books written about his administration.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

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If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your bipolar aunt so don't ask again.

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roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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