What do you do when a blonde takes the pin out of a grenade and throws it at you? Take cover as there is a person close to you wielding an active grenade.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Dear Six, Please stop spreading rumors about me and nine. I hear you two also do some pretty nasty things. Love, Seven.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the toy cowboy say to the man? Nothing, toys can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the kitten cross the road? Because its owners abandoned it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

how many dicks can you fit into mia khalifa's ass

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -9

My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Suck pussy

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you do if you see a cat crossing the street? Hit it of course!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between dead babies and the holocaust? A lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the multi-millionaire entreprenuer sad? He went bankrupt.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops