Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

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What the last thing that went through Osama's mind? A bullet

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What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

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So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

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why is pie good. because it just is.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs at night? An experimental animal mutilated then exposed to radiation.

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Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

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jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

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What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

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your mums so fat! "last time i heard that i fell of my dinosaur!!" Oh man are you ok?

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why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

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Huh? Whats wrong? Why are you mad at me for? Its my name, it has always been so.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

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Why are rich guys gay? Because they hang around other rich guys

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What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

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monkeys that understand what people say dont understand what people say because they understand CC

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You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

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Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? A: A bus stop

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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Who took the cookie from the cookie jar? Your mom

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Well You're Full Of It . -Full Of What ? Well , Probably Blood And Other Organs You Can't Live Without . .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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