What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its babies were being mauled by a cat.

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How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

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Whats worse than the holocaust A: not much

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I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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a

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Jack and Jill went up the hill....Just kidding, it was only Jill. Jack had no legs

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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What's blue and invisible ? Nothing.... Its impossible to be iinvisible and a color

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? I DON'T have a Corvette in my garage.

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An Aussie, a Mexican and an Asian walk into a bra. You read that wrong.

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Hey you must be a parking ticket, because your yellow.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because chickens just walk places. they have no agenda.

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I'm a wise old man, so I'm aloud to touch you in the bathing suit area.

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What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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How many sumo wrestlers does it take to lift a huge rock? The point of lifting a rock just to lift a rock is stupid, so why would you get 3 sumo wrestlers to come out and waste their time.

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A woman is shopping at a grocery store. She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line. "You must be single." the clerk says. Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?". "Because you're ugly".

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I agree Nero, we agree there, but let me ask you, why did you have the deep desire to create such a society before? You managed to do so as a teen, you wanted to help others, you put them before yourself, you where far more loyal to them, than they ever where to you. What motivated you then to sacrifice so much, where is that strength today?

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Why was this German dude's water bill so high this month? Because there were thirty dead Jews in his shower. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Knock knock. Who's there? Me. Oh.

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"Have you heard the skyscraper joke?" "No." "Oh. Well I don't feel like telling it to you."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops