Knock Knock. Who's there? Irune. Irune who? Irune my life with all this red sand.

Instructions to make origami. 1.) Staple bagels to face 2.) Ask someone else to do it. 3.) Hang yourself because you are too stupid to figure it out yourself

A white kid, a black kid, and an Asian kid all try out for the basketball team. Which one makes the team? All of them, because they are all very good.

what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

What do you call cheese that isn't yours Stolen propety....

Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

Whats black and flys out of a car? Pupies stuffed in a bag.

Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

"bus driver pressed the horn at my mum and she stuck a finger up at him " Not the first time she's got the horn and shoved a finger up

Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

Why didn't Joey play with the other kids on the playground? Answer: He was dead

Sometimes Jamie wishes he could be a different person. He wishes he didnt have to eat dick everynight but it was all to late. He had to take it down the throat but he enjoyed the tickle it gave him

Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud…

What's the difference between a cow and some dirt? They're the same except for almost everything

roses are red vilits are blue get in the van or i kill you

Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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