Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

What happened to the couple that got married? They went on their honeymoon.

What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

What is the difference between a baleen whale and a black guy? One speaks and one says EEEEEEERRRROOOOOWWOWOWOWOOWRR!

What happens after Madeline McCann disappears. Jokes.

you can either take the test now or on monday. (hand movement)

Roses are red, Facebook is blue, we have mutual friends, and violets are blue and roses are red. FRIDGE

23 convicts were showering. One of them dropping his soap bar. The person next to him picked it up, and the one who dropped it said thanks.

What happened to the boy who stalked the pretty girl? His father raped him and he died in a house fire induced by his overwhelmingly sick love for the taliban

Wha do you call a couple with aids? 2 pepole who need immediate health treatment.

Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are all dead

What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Probably "Look out for that car," but since he has been deaf since the age of 7, his verbal skills are tenuous at best.

What is better than one wors roll - two wors rolls

You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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