Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Justin Bieber tries to get into a club but is not allowed because he is to young.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Steve asks Dave if he likes fish sticks. Dave says yes. Steve asks Dave if he likes to put fish sticks in his mouth. Dave says yes again. They both agree to buy some, prepare them, and eat them, as fish stick are tasty, convenient, and mildly nutritious.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Remember that comic blooper? Captain America fighting some dude: Okay buster only one of us is getting out of here alive! Next panel: Captain is kicking his foe and yelling AND IT WONT BE MEEEEEEEE! ...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? To collect it's AIDS medication.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

thumb_up thumb_down +12

There was an apartment. At the bottom level lived a white family, The 2nd level, there was a mexican family, and the 3rd level, there was a Black family. Someone blew up the apartment with a bomb, WHO SURVIVED? The white family, because the parent were at work and the kids were at school.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats small and blue? a suffocated baby

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops