What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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Q why did the girl scream A she got hit with an axe

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

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Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

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Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

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Donald Trump

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Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

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Yo mama so stupid, she scored poorly on her SAT exams in high school. She was unable to recieve a college education. She now works as a full time waitress at a small diner. She earns minimum wage and is still getting nowhere on her search for a better job.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin, "Sure is hot in here." The other muffin says, "AHHHH! A talking muffin."

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

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roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing his parents stuck him in a mental ward to forget about him because he was mentally challenged.

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Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and not being funny.

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What is black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, bleeding, mixed race babies.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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