when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

Knock knock Who's there It's a policeman informing you that your parents have been killed in a car crash. Your Dad, who has been struggling with substance abuse and depression, found out his wife had been cheating on him, and in a drunken rage, wrapped the car around a tree.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

There were two blondes at an ATM. One was entering her PIN number and the other one says, "Haha! I know your password! It's ****!" The other one replies, "Haha! No, it's 1358."

What do you call an African American sitting on a park bench? Elephant-man (I forgot to mention, he has a giant elephant trunk)

Your mom is so ugly and stupid that people make fun of her and that's not nice.

Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

Q: What would you think if a homeless person asked, "Spare change for drugs and cigarettes?" A: At least he was being honest.

What do you call it when a black guy is talking to a white guy? A conversation.

Why do black poeple like fryed chicken? Becuase it greases there insides just like there outsides.

Q: Why couldn't the little girl ride a bike? A: Because she didn't have legs.

man 1.have u sen my girl friend man 2. yes man 1. rely man 2. no man 1. dick

How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

What do you do if you walk in on your wife atempting to hang herself in the living room? Ask her to leave the living room, as it would be ironic.

roses are red , thankyou for stating that , i can now continue with gardening as it is my profession.

Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

what did the banana say to the orange? nothing because a banana is a fruit

America

Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

What do you call a discrase of a living enviorment? African huts there so muddy

How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

Whats worse than one bee? Two bees. Whats worse than two bees? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bees.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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