A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

What do you call a man with no legs? A leg-less man.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding 2 worms in your apple

How do you starve a black man?.........take away his food!!

Hey! Do you like fishsticks? Me too :)

You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

What is the worst part about dying? no-one cause no-one has ever survived dying to know what it is like so how is it possible that I would know

What's the difference between dead babies and the holocaust? A lot.

What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

Q.How do you get a dog to meow ? A. Put the dog in the freezer overnight . . Get a chainsaw and run it along his back in the morning . " Meowrrrr..."

What is funny about civil and women's rights? Nothing, they are very serious matters.

My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

Granny P-O-R-N!!!!

Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

There is a Asian a black guy and a white guy the black guy loves apples the white guy loves pears and the Asian loves Macaroni the white guy gets a apple the black guy gets a pear and the Asian has no lunch so the black guy kills the white guy for the apple and the Asian kills the black guy because he is hungry

what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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