What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

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why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferarri? I don't have a ferarri in my garage.

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

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why did the chicken cross the road? he was stapeled to a cow and the cow got hit by a bus so they died.

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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Roses are brown I likes clouds This joke isn't funny so don't laugh

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what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

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They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

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What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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I am a mime

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A man walks into a bar. Ow

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A Finnish guy and a Russian guy go into a sauna. The Russian died.

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Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

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If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

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Pick a number between 2 and 8. Now multiply that number by 9. Now add the 2 digits of that answer together. (example 18 is 1+8) Now subtract that answer number by 5. Now choose the letter below that corresponds to that answer. 1 = A 2 = B 3 = C 4 = D 5 = E 6 = F Now pick a country that starts with that letter. Now pick an animal where the first letter of the animals name is the last letter of the country's name. Now think of a color where the first letter of the colors name is the last letter of the animals name. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Are you thinking of an orange kangaroo from Denmark?

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what do you get when you cross a turkey with a goat? nothing you can't cross to genetically different spieces stupid

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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