what did the obese kid get for chistmas? an athsma attack ,which led to death.

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What did the father say to his son? ....nothing

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Doctor, people dont notice me anymore, doctor?... HEEEEEEEEEEEY!

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Once i tried to do math ! She wasn't getting wet so i stopped!

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I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

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whats a muslims name with a bomb to his chest Whatever his name is HAHAHAHAHAH

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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How do you know when a Captcha defect causes you to post the same anti-joke three times? Canteloupe.

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Why do black people always sit in the back of the bus? There aren't any available seats in the front.

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Your momma is so fat that she decided to begin an exercise program and eat healthy and she lost weight.

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Why did the accident happen? The breaks on the car stopped working. Why did the breaks stop working? The driver was drunk.

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how do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The fridge is on its side, the door is torn off, and the ruined food scattered all over the floor. Not to mention there is an elephant in your kitchen.

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a cat gets mauled by a dog. it died later that day

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because his hands were amputated.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink.

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whats the difference between an iron and a priest? An iron is a hand-held device which presses clothes and a priest is a person who is authorized to perform the sacred rituals of a religion.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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Why was the drunk man in jail? He had lost touch with himself because his wife cheated on him the previous night and to add to the fact she took his clothes so public nudity would be a problem.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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How do you get a blonde to eat crayons? Threaten to kill her parents with a hacksaw.

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What do you say to the woman who just got raped? Nothing you just raped her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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