- Anti Joke

roses are blue violets are blue everything is blue I'm sad now

did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

a white man, an asian man, and a mexican man are on a plane and they realize how inefficient the airline was in filling the flight, seeing as there were only three men on board.

How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

what happened when a chicken laid an egg? it died

Why does no one like fat people? Because of Jesse Ziegenbein

"What's your name?" "Josephine." "Josephine?" "No, Josephine." "That's what I said." "I know,"

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

A man bets that his friend can't drink five beers in a row. His friend does it and says "See, I told you I can do it!" The man replies "No, I can't see, I'm blind."

whats the differnece between a bag of dead babies and a ferarri? nothing ill never have either

What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face" The horse responds "My daughter has cancer"

Why did the slut suck a dick? Because she's a slut.

2 penguins in a tub. one looks to the other an says, "pass the bar of soap." the other looks at him.."what do you think i am, a typewriter?"

knock knock. who's there? no one. no one who? no one who?

I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops