- Anti Joke

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

How old is victor? Half past dead

Sometimes Jamie wishes he could be a different person. He wishes he didnt have to eat dick everynight but it was all to late. He had to take it down the throat but he enjoyed the tickle it gave him

What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

-1

a man walks into a casino, it's the third time this week and he's contemplating suicide.

-1

This is Mr.Bear you all are on rtc for the next week. See me in G7 NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-1

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? THE CHICKEN!

-1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

A house comes around the corner.

Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

Knock Knock Jehovah's witnesses!

how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

Yes

A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.