What do you call a mouse having sex? A spouse.

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so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Why did the English man walk into a bar? Do get an alcoholic beverage to temporarily forget the pain of his recent divorce.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To be eaten.

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Golf.

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your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

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Two black men walk past a white man who recently hung himself from a tree. Oh the racist irony.

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Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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Why does austin bell like it up the butt? Cause he's a cat a kitty cat meow meow meow and meow meow meow

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

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What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

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Why was the Saudi Arabian terrorist flying a plane in America? He was going to visit some family on a ranch in Kansas.

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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What did the korean say to the other korean. I don't know i dont speak korean.

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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What is the worst party ever? Nazi.

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Q: how do you test the sharpness of a knife A: stab someone MR

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News of the day - David gives back 2 pounds to someone. The police, as he stole from a old nana to pay for a toothbrush

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Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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