Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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why did the man beat his wife? why not?

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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69.

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Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

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What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

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Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

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knock knock Goodbye

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Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

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What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet... ...then I made fun of him and laughed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops