Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

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Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

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How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

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Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

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Andoni was here

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How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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sky silverstein

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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knock knock whos there the game __i lost the game__

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Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

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What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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