Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What's brown and seven feet tall? A door

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Q. What did the chicken do when it lost its egg? A. It went to go look for it. Q. Why was the chicken scared of the duck? A. Because it was chicken Q.Why can't chickens fly? A. Because they don't want to Q.Why can't chickens swim? A. Because they don't want to Q. Whey do chickens cluck? A. Because they want to Q. Why did the chicken jump on top of a car? A. Because it knows how Q. Why doesn't a chicken have hands? A. Because it's not human Q. What did the chicken dream about? A. Chicken dreams Q. Why was the chicken lost? A. Because it wasn't found Q. Why wasn't the chicken afriad of the dog? A. Because the chicken was blind Q. Why doesn't the chicken know how to drive a car A. Because they don't need to

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Have you seen Helen Keller's new car? Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? Because she was a very poor worker.

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In mother Russia you don't eat cookie. Dog eat shark. -B.Gill

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Knock-Knock Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup-mustard.

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Why was the boy afraid? Because he had just seen his dog get ran over by a tractor

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What do you call a 5000 pound gorilla? Obese - gorillas should weigh around 400 pounds.

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How do you get the icing in the middle of a cupcake? Cupcake raper...Duh

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

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What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, we're taking your house. This is a vacation notice, please be out of the property in 30 days. Have a nice day.

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Whats black and hangs from trees? To get to the other side.

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What did Hitler say to his wife? It's time to go start the Holocaust.

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A muslim paints Mohammed

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Why did Poppy lose at sports day? Because she had a heart attack and died.

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What is brown, creamy, and tastes like gravy? gravy.

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How did Bush really get into the White House? The front door.

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Why did the white boy not make his high school basketball team? Because he was not as good as the other players.

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Why did the fat person build a lift in his house? He was caring for his terminally ill mother which has a cancer and got both her legs amputated due to the cancer spreading to her legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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