Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house. "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The chicken"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your big dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? He did it for fitness.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Wht did noah7262 cross the road? to abandon his friends and play Modern Warfare 3 on xbox live. asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

So a blond, a brunette, a ninja, a pirate, a priest, a rabbi, a mathematician and an engineer all walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What, is this some kind of joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you get when you put a blue bucket in the red sea? it gets wet

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a cow that's not cooked? A cow

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the man on the moon say? Nothing. He died because his supply of oxygen ran out.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down

Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

thumb_up thumb_down

What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the customer say to the waiter when he found a fly in his soup? Sorry to bother you on your break, but why didn't I get a fly in MY soup?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops