Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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What is worde then swallowing a slipper? Swallowing a granny to catch the slipper

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What do Miley and Bill Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Traffic was too backed-up so the chicken took a different route.

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Ross.

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What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

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Gustavo Andrade

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why did the chicken cross the road it didnt it got eaten

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Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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Why was the man attracted to other men? Because he was gay, and that is typically what happens when people are attracted to members of the same sex, and it is as natural as a man being attracted to women.

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Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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When Chuck Norris claps, his two hands slam together, creating rather loud soud.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know most poems rhyme, This one doesn't

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

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why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

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There is a Asian a black guy and a white guy the black guy loves apples the white guy loves pears and the Asian loves Macaroni the white guy gets a apple the black guy gets a pear and the Asian has no lunch so the black guy kills the white guy for the apple and the Asian kills the black guy because he is hungry

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Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

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What's black and white and red all over? A Nazi banner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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