Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Why did the duck cross the road? I don't know. I only know why the chicken crossed the road.

What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

caoimhin is a dorty carrot

Whats as Heavy as a rock and also as light as a feather? Any object in space because the lack of gravity to give the object weight.

Knock knock: Who's there: Woo: Woo Who: I knew you'd be glad to see me.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

What happens when you run over a black man? It is most likely that he is killed.

Yo mama so stupid, she scored poorly on her SAT exams in high school. She was unable to recieve a college education. She now works as a full time waitress at a small diner. She earns minimum wage and is still getting nowhere on her search for a better job.

Q: What did Batman say to Robin right before they got in the b\Batmobile? A: "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was younger, he was made fun of by all the bigger numbers. Everyday after school he would go home and wonder why he was made fun of. Was it his looks? How tall he was? The pain and suffering never stopped. He thought of suicide every day he got home from school. One day his mom got home from work and found 6 bleeding in the shower. She thought he was dead. She hurried him to the hospital where he was barely kept alive. After months of recovery, he started going back to school. The bullying never stopped, they started calling him a loser who should have died. He got older and depressed as a teenager. He got ahold of alcohol and began drinking. He went to meetings and got over his addiction. 10 years later he meets up with 7. It takes him back to his horrible childhood with the big numbers. Every time 6 sees 7, he gets reminded of everything. 7 had also murdered someone in front of 6.

I am pleased and honored to hear you speak that beautifully straight from your heart Nero, you are without equal, unmatched. And he who is unmatched, also stands alone.

what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

Oh my god it's the twinkie mobile!

Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

Two men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

What does a black guy get for Christmas? Everything you own

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

How long does it take for light to travel a light-year ? A year.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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