why are you going to laugh at this its reallly dumb

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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Q. How many blonds do you know? A. I don't know any blonds, but are you perhaps talking about blondes? Because if so, I still don't know any.

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What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

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What did the dog do in the phone booth? Nothing, as dog do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grip objects. The previous user must have left the door open and the dog walked in, only to leave a few moments later.

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A Priest a Rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. The rest of the patrons continue to drink until the situation seems less strange.

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What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

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The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

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What's the diffrence between a hockey puck, and an african child? They're both black, but usualy african children aren't round!

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How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

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Timmy eats 32 cookies and eats 30 of them. What does he have? Type 2 Diabetes.

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how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

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Your momma's so stupid she stuck a power cable up her ass. Shortly after she died

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What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

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Why was 6 afraid of 12? Because 12 used to beat up 6 and now 6 has a restraining order against 12. 12 has to stay at least 5 numbers away from 6.

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How old is victor? Half past dead

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A muslim walks onto a plane. He goes to 13C as that is his seat designated on his ticket.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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What's the difference between a black person and a park bench? Benches are inanimate objects while people are indeed carbon-based life forms.

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Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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Q. Why did my ass feel so sweaty? A. Because i was exercising and suckn on some nips.

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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