Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

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Yo mama so stupid, she scored poorly on her SAT exams in high school. She was unable to recieve a college education. She now works as a full time waitress at a small diner. She earns minimum wage and is still getting nowhere on her search for a better job.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

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What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

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Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

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Q: Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris, or a Tank? A: Chuck Norris, because his hidden fist in his chin gives him 3 fists to the tank's 0.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin, "Sure is hot in here." The other muffin says, "AHHHH! A talking muffin."

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What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

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I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

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Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

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Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? You can't unload one with a pitchfork

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

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What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

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what did the jew get for Christmas? cancer. and aids

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What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

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Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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