Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a fat man who can turn slim? I don't know

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face" The horse responds "My daughter has cancer"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why was the cream sad? he was frozen and turned into a popular dessert

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are blue Cabbage

thumb_up thumb_down -17

If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A rooster lays an egg on top of a henhouse. Which way does the egg fall? Roosters don't lay eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what is funnier than one dead baby in a dumpster? There is nothing funny about the homicide of a minor, and the murder should be immediately investigated.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Two rolls are hanging on a wall..... On falls down and the other ones name is Erwin

thumb_up thumb_down -23

i think dylan is turnimg gay for amy

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops