Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

What do you call a fly with no wings? Disabled

what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

What rhymes with milk...milf

there once was a black man who played basketball

Donald Trump

How many elbows does a Jew have? 2

knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

Why are Asians yellow? Because that is their natural skin color

One Zebra and One Elephant was walking in the desert, the Zebra said its hot and the elephant said i know.

How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change the light bulb and two to file a lawsuit.

Whats worse than getting an "F" on a test? Stage diving with a kilt on.

What did the chair say to the fan? Nothing. Chairs and fans are objects so they do not have the physical ability to talk.

What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

Two rolls are hanging on a wall..... On falls down and the other ones name is Erwin

Do you want to hear a joke, Women's rights

I get more excited then my dog when I give her a treat

How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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