What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

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I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

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Knock knock! Who's there? Hitler, time to shower!

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whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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why was the black guy smelly? because his white friend threw him in a dumpster

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

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whats worse then a child with a dead mom? the baby is still inside.

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what is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

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A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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my wifes star sign is cancer, kinda ironic how she died really..... she got eaten by a giant crab.

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what happens when an Asian and a Jew get married. They have children.

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What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexic Assosiation.

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Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

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Why was the Magic: The Gathering player a virgin? Because he was underage and it would have been immoral for him to have had sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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