Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

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what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Reading re-posts of classic anti jokes posted by lonely teenagers.

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

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whats the difference from a jew and a christian the jew got arrested for rape

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

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What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

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An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a southerner [but certainly not a redneck!], a New Englander, and a Californian), an Argentinian, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovakian, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uraguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, a Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahamanian, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Kyrgyzstani, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Taiwanese, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 47-53 Africans walk into a fine restaurant. Fortunately," said the snooty maître d', "we'll let you come in without a Thai.

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Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

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If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

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An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

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What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

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A horse walks into a butcher shop and asks for two apple pies. The butcher says "sorry, but we don't have apple pies. It's a butcher shop." And the horse says "nevermind, I came here on my bike."

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why was the 6 year old boy crying? his mother had just passed away from terminal cancer and his stepdad caught him crying so he kicke hm in the face and told him to man up.

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Why can't Helen Keller just kidding she's dead

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Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

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Little johnny raised his hand one day in class and asked if he could use the restroom. The teacher said he had to say the abc's first. Johnny successfully recited the abc's and then proceeded to use the restroom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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