Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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"bus driver pressed the horn at my mum and she stuck a finger up at him " Not the first time she's got the horn and shoved a finger up

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Whats black and flys out of a car? Pupies stuffed in a bag.

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

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A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

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Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

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Sometimes Jamie wishes he could be a different person. He wishes he didnt have to eat dick everynight but it was all to late. He had to take it down the throat but he enjoyed the tickle it gave him

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Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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What's the difference between a cow and some dirt? They're the same except for almost everything

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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Why didn't Joey play with the other kids on the playground? Answer: He was dead

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud…

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A woman walks into a bar.

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Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

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roses are red vilits are blue get in the van or i kill you

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What makes us laugh? Definitely not this joke!

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican; the black man had too much alcohol and the Mexican was the designated driver.

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Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

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roses are red voliets are blue u actule thought i would cry over you!

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What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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