Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

Yo mama so stupid, she signed an apointment with Dr. Pepper

why did the black man shoot himself? because he commited a crime and was sorry for what he had done

Roses are red , Violets are blue You little dumb ass bitch Ain't fuckin' with yoouuuuuu

What's the difference between an alien and Obama? - Nothing they are both aliens.

What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

Yo mama's so ugly, one day she looked in the mirror and her face was a wreck. Later that day she committed suicide.

How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

What tastes worse than dog shit? White dog shit.

why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

Dylan: "I dont understand anti-jokes"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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