What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

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Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

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Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a food strike? A: An Ethiopian

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what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

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why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

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What type of party do you throw when your fat? A baby shower.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs, who got cancer for Christmas, get for his Birthday? Nothing, he didn't live that long.

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What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? Velcro.

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Q: What do you get when you cross Rebecca Black and a day of the week. A: a stupid song called FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

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Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house in her back yard? -No Neither did she

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Whats black and yellow and is funny when its falling off a cliff? A bus full of niggers.

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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