while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man walks up to his boss and asks "Do you want to hear a funny joke?". His boss replied,"Yes". Before the man could finish his joke, his boss had a heart attack and died instantly. The next day, when he's in his car with his wife, he asks "You want to hear a joke?", the wife replied "Sure,". before the man could finish his joke, a car hit them and the wife died but the man happened to survive. The next day, he sat on a bench mourning, his friend walked up to him and asked, "Why are you sad?". the man answered, "Every time I try and tell a joke someone dies!", his friend said, "That's not true, just tell me the joke." "Ok" "Two Pigeons walk into a-". Before he can finish his joke his friends is kidnapped and killed. Sadly, the man walks to a ledge, jumps off and commits suicide. The End

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Bible Games aka Bible Buffet: SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Sometime after the death and return of Superma... Jesus. God: RAISE FROM YOUR GRAVE! Jesus slays holy white beasts: POWER UP! POWER UP! HOMO UP! Uh did he say homo u... ARGH! CANNOT CONTAIN LEVEL OF HOMO! TURNING FURFAG/ALTERED BEAST. A wild Saten appears!: WELCOME TO YOUR DOOM! Jesus used gay wolf punch, it was not very effective... wild Saten uses OMFG HE TEARS OFF HIS OWN HEAD AND THROWS IT AT JESUS! Its super effective! Jesus Dies. Moral: Second coming? He came back to meet his disciples and crap AFTER quoting "ill be back", did he promise some third coming? Is that why people have been waiting for over 2000 years? :P

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7? A. Because 7 was a scary dude.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Once upon a time a guy took his pants off why because he was touching himself

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Haunnaka in 1940's Germany. six thousand people die. in one minute.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the chicken say to the duck .... Nothing the chickin was Spanish and the duck was illiterate

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is black and white and red all over? Interracial sex partners with smallpox.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the car go down the road? Someone was driving it. Why did the car stop? Because he suddenly fell and had a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

So theres a Black guy, White guy and Mexican guy all sitting at a bar. They were friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what dyu call a bunch of white guys on a bench? the NBA

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the Albino say to the other albino? Due to heredity and our inheritance of Chromosomes causing albinism, We could be displaced in society but luckily, we have eachother. They went home and lived happily. But not ever after. That craps or normal people. (freaking albinos...)

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a black man with a knife and red liquid on his hands? A chef who accidently spilled strawberry jam on himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

ever tried african food? they neither

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferarri? I don't have a ferarri in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops