a guy was waiting for his date, then she arrived and they went happily to the cinema

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have to go to the bathroom

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I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide.

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Your mom is so ugly that she had self-esteem problems and severe depression as a teenager due to merciless bullying due to her looks, however she overcame this, found a man who loved her for who she was, and then married him. She now lives a happy life.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Eric went for a poo in the public toilets. After he finished, he realised that there was no toilet roll. So he had to just pull up his pants and put up with his sshitty arse for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, he was in a board meeting and when he went in he stank of shit and it was a very uncomfortable feeling.

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Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? You don't. You just shut up and listen.

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A Jewish boy walks up to his father and says: Dad, can I borrow 50 dollars? The dad responds: 40 dollars?!? What are you going to do with 30 dollars?!?

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Your mom is so fat she should probably go to her doctor and ask for a prescription of diabetic pills

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Realising the apple is the worm...

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shirt and blue, i call this one snow white, to score and seven years a jo, six samurai kageki, coral, 50 piece, specific frame, whats with that one, amy, hoption, smell my butt, smell my balls, smell my fart, smell my poop, urgay, pringles,

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A blind man walks into a bar After realising he might be hurt everybody rushes to his aid

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Q; Whats the hardest part about nailing a dead baby to a wall? A; my dick while doing it.

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whats the worst part about being a black jew your black and jewish

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's only a joke. It's not that, my wife and son were just killed in a drunk driving accident.

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Your mother is so fat that she will likely eventually develop diabetes.

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Why did samba hurt her head? Because she fell out of her mum muff

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Golf.

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How many amish people does it take to screw in a light blub? None as the amish don't require artificial light

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Boxing on Boxing Day

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wut did the cow say to the other cow thet's get a moo shake

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Matthew Baker

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What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

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Q: what's wrong with this sentence? My dogs is running in the garden A: I don't have a garden

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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