Did you know, I have a black man in my family tree? He works for a lawn service.

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

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what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

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How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

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A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

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Wilson: would you buy lottery when you grow up Mattuew: no theres no point Wilson: ask Xiangxi right next to you Mattuew: xiangxi, would you buy lottery if you grow up? Xiangxi: Prabably not, because the chance of winning a lottery is lower than becoming an astronaut Mattuew: the probability of you winning the lottery is higher than you finding a girlfriend

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Q: what happens when Justin Bieber walks into bar? A: three things, blood on the bar floor, another vister at the celebrity hospital, and Justin Bieber with knifes and darts stuck in his chest!

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An Asian couple walks into a bar, orders a few drinks, pays, and leaves

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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what are the best kind of bees none they sting and hurt like hell

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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Roses r red, Violets r blue, u think id eva cry ova u?? I told u i luvd u, n u believed it true... Well guess wat baby? U got played 2 B)

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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Do you like fishsticks? Ya, me too.

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What was wrong with the man watching a black and white television program? He wasn't watching a black and white television program at all-he actually had color blindness.

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whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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