What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

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What did the black guy say when he failed his math test? Crap, I failed my math test!

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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How many retards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No number of them could figure it out. They sit in the dark for hours, scared of the monsters.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

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Why is purple the best color. Cuz icecream has no bones

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Tim and Jim are Telling Jokes Tim: Knock Knock ... Jim does not respond because Tim has a mental disorder causing him to believe in hypothetical doors and thus ignores him so that he does not upset his friend

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? The sandwich is hidden under the couch, and is non-migratory.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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A Mexican and an African American are in a car, who is driving? The Mexican, while the African American rides in the passenger seat.

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Why did the potato cross the road? It didn't. A potato is a vegetable. It cannot walk, think or speak.

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What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

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Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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