knock knock? who's there Dave Come on in!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

thumb_up thumb_down

Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats black and flys out of a car? Pupies stuffed in a bag.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do a Jew and a whale have in common? They're both Jewish. Except the whale.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Yes

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q:How can you tell an asian has just robbed your home? A: You took the necessary precautions to purchase a very high quality security system and you caught the whole thing on tape, and the man was arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? You reading another one of these again?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -4

whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud…

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is blue and has to deal with a vagina. Blue waffle you know who has that Jews But the jews got it from the gassing and the gassing got it from hitlers wifes piss but the blue waffle came from the lesbian she had sex with when she was doing her lesbian phase but the lesbian got it from her father and the father got it from his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Rose: Mom, why was I named Rose? Mom: Because when you were born a rose petal landed on your head. Rose: Than why is my brother named Brick? Mom: I liked the name.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

So a penguin walks into a bar. Penguin's have been affected by global warming so much that they decide to drink away as they near their final hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops