I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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Roses are blue Violets are red Sugar are you And so is sweet

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Mack: Hello Jonathan: Hi Mack: My name is Mack, what's your name? Jonathan: My name is Billy Mack: You liar! I'm reading this post at anti-joke.com and whenever you reply, your name shows Johnathan! Johnathan: Well Mack, I guess you broke the 4th wall. By the way, this joke is over in 3, 2, 1...

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What did the man with cancer say when he got hit in the face with a crowbar? "Ow."

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Only steers and queers come from Texas and i dont see any horns on you so what does that mean? It means I am not a Minotaur.

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A white guy jumps over the fence belonging to a Mexican family

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What did the white man say to the black man that was very interested in the story he had to tell? Cool Story bro, tell it again!

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Q.What did the homeless kid get from santa? A. Play Doe. Because he was a good boy. Q.what did the Rich Kid get form santa? A Coal. Because he was a bod boy. The rich kid then got mad and threw the coal at the homeless kid hitting him on the head which killed him of enturnaly bleeding.

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A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the glass from the other man and throws it on the with all his power to the floor. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

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Why did the goat cross the street? It was running away from the Tsunami

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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Q - What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a trampoline? A - I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline.

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(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

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An Italian, a Mexican, and an American are sharing a meal on the Titanic. They all died for the women and children first.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? AIDS

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Nero, sure you are okay?

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Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

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What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys. The owner of a basketball team

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why cant women draw perfect circles? no one can becouse it is virtually impossible

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put C where A is. :D

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If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, Chuck Norris now has $10.

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Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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