A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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A man walks into a bar with a frown. The bartender asks, "Why are you sad." "My wife got brutally raped then shot last night."

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Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

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What do you get when you mix a turtle and a dog An animal

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Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

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Why did the boy lose his change? He had no Pants Why did the boy have no pants? The Holocaust

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A 10 year old underpriveledged boy goes to the second mile camp and meets his new counselor: Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky. The two bond very much and talk a lot. Sandusky invites the boy back to the locker room to shower because the boy got muddy. The boy takes a shower, gets clean, and goes back to his cabin. The boy has a great time at the camp and goes home.

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What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

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Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

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why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

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What do you call a black man chasing after a macdonalds van? The fastest thing in the dessert.

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Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

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What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

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What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

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A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy but here's my chew toy throw it maybe!

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Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

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What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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Why can a black man beat a white man in basketball? They are generally better at basketball Why cant a black man beat a KKK member in basketball? He valued his life and didnt want to die

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops