What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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A local police officer pulls up to tell you something. Listen carefully: Three zebras have been spotted crossing the Mexican border. He goes into his truck, pulls out a can of marbles, peanut butter, seven velcro straps and a rhino horn covered in glitter. Your mission is simple: Kill the zebras using your equipment. You will be rewarded if you have enough peanut butter to make a sandwich after. Go now... Get it done.

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What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

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- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.

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Q: A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? A:They both take turns, because they are driving across the country and it would be hard for one of them to drive the entire way.

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How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

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Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

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What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

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Your mother is so large she finds it difficult to fit into regular sized clothing

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Why did the black man go to Jail? He was visiting his friend!

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Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poetry Show me your titties

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So there was once this cool little dude that had a purple nose. People would walk by on the streets and say, "Hey! That's a cool nose!" Purple nose man appreciated that they didn't pretend it wasn't there, and instead celebrated the diversity. The next day, he was scalped.

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Why did the boy get teased? Because his name was spelt wrong (k)urtis

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Why did the girls ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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A guy says to a palm reader "You look like you've seen a ghost. Palm reader replies "You've got cum on your hand."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops