whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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A: what did one apple say to the other apple. B: Nothing apples cant talk

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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A man walked into the woods with alzheimers......pancakes

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A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

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Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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A duck walks into a bar, clearly ignoring the 'No Ducks Allowed' sign that had been placed in the window to prevent comedic scenarios.

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

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Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

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a dyslexic man walked his god.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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