A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

Whats the definition of not winning? Charlie sheen losing custody of his son because he is a coked out, old man douche bag, who only gets told what he wants to hear because he forks out lots of money to gold digging hookers.

What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

whats worse then a truck full of babies? if it went off a cliff into a canyon full of knives.

Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

Why did the police arrest the black man? He'd committed a crime, and was punished accordingly.

NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

Did you know? that if you were to stretch out all your organs to see how far theyd stretch? youd die.

How do you kill a Jewish person? Like any other person, they are like any other person of any race and religion.

Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

Nick Demarco got butt due to the high number of females in his apartment

What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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