what is the difference between a bucket of shit and a black person? the bucket the bucket

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What's worse than a baby on a mattress? A baby under a mattress.

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What's a black man that drives a bus? A bus-driver

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Why couldn't little Jimmy play catch with his dad? Because he was an orphan.

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Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A:Because it wa dead!!!!!!

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First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

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What did the fork say to the spoon? I have tongs and you don't. Ha.

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if you write treehouse backwards it spells gullible.

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Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

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I EAT YOUR SOUL. NOM NOM.

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I told my doctor I’m the first man on the face of the earth to suffer from morning sickness. He promptly corrected my mistake; my excessive vomiting is actually caused by chemo.

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So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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Q: What did the Catholic man say in response to the gay man asking what he likes to do? A: golf

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Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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How do you name a beast who eat rocks and fly. rock-eater flying beast

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What do you call a concentration camp with a mental disability? Auschwistic.

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A black man and a white man crash their cars. they promptly exchange insurance information and apologize to each other about the inconvenience.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks: "why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus being incapable of comprehending the complexities of conversation said nothing, and shit all over the floor.

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Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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