Hi I'm makena. I'm a cynical asshole

jews

what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

How do you scare a black man? You dont

A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

what happens when steven hawking walks into a bar? everyone cheers at the miracle of science.

Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

What did the... Uh, I forgot the rest of the joke.

why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

alert('The Game')

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -None, they will pay for somebody else to do it

Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

A Hispanic, a Caucasian, and an African American walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?"

In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

Why did the boy get hit by a bus? Because he was standing in front of the bus.

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Banana Yoshimoto. A popular Japanese author of the book, Kitchen. She is incredibly talented and it would be a great honor to have her in your house, so you should open your door.

Micheal Jackson walks into a bar

What is green and red and is going super fast? A frog in a blender.

What's the difference between celery and a truck?

why did rhys jones get shot. because he was there

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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