Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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Why did Hitler Commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed by the fact he had lost World War II.

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What do you call a girl who has slept with five guys? Her name.

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What is faster? A bottle of milk or a sand-filled pin ball machine? A fighter jet, stupid!

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whats brown and half eaten? yeah an easter egg that a parent has given to there son/daughter before dinner

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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Doctor I have a headace! The doctor was dead.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

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what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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A muslim walks out of a plane.

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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What is the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is a piece of wood, while the black man is a human being.

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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