The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

your mums so fat! "last time i heard that i fell of my dinosaur!!" Oh man are you ok?

How do Chinese parents name their children? With deep thought and consideration about a thoughtful, respectful and honorable name.

So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

why is pie good. because it just is.

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

What the last thing that went through Osama's mind? A bullet

What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs at night? An experimental animal mutilated then exposed to radiation.

Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

Why are rich guys gay? Because they hang around other rich guys

What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

Why did the christian go into the church? To pray.

What's gay and Jewish? Henry Shine

Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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