how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

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What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

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Why are asians bad drivers? Driving schools in asia are severely less developed and therefore produce less experienced and skillful drivers. They also have asian eyes (:

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes Wtf?

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What does the kid with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A: arms and legs

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Mike Mike who? Mike who you just called and told to come over Oh ok, come in

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Q. Whats black and red all over? A. A black wall thats been painted red.

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What did the truck driver get when he ran over my cat? A pave low.

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Q: Why was little Timmy afraid of clowns? A: The one at his birthday party killed his parents.

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How did the little boy fall off his bycicle? Prior to this incident, a psychopathetic killer murdered his family. Therefore, to escape the killer, the boy got onto his bycicle in hopes of manuvering away from the threat. Since it was nighttime he did not notice the fault in the asphalt.( No ryhme intendid.) From flipping over his handlebars, he fell unconcious. Upon the killer spotting the boy, he sliced his head off and left the scene to not be spotted by police.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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What did Michael jackson say to Abraham Lincoln? Nothing, there are both currently deceased, if they did, however, say something to each other, it would not be in person, because they are both dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm locked in someone's basement, Please help me.

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What do you call a blonde who passed the SAT's? An excellent student.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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Knock Knock Who's there

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black person on a bike? Its probably your bike.

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Why did sally fall off the swings? She didn't have any arms. Knock Knock, Who's there? Not Sally, she doesn't have any arms.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist that doesn't believe in god? His disorder has no effect on his belief system.

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A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? I just said it was Steve

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What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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