What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

What did your Little brother get for Christmas? Lice.

Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

what did one computer say to the other .........

why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

a white guy walks into a bar luckily he is not an alcoholic and knows when to safely stop drinking and already gave his keys to a friend.

Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

Where did tommy go during the bomb? Everywhere. he was a cripple and couldnt make it to the bomb shelter.

Your dad must be a drug dealer because I saw him in your kitchen snorting cocaine

What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

Q: How do you drown a black guy? A: Hold his head underwater and sit on his back.

What's brown, sticky, green, yellow, and orange that rides a unicycle? I have no clue, that's why I asked.

a rabbi and a priest walk into a wall

Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

Why couldn't the Jew get pregnant? Because he was man.

Do you still got what it needs to become a better leader than me Nero?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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