there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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Why was the black kid at school? Because he wanted to receive an education.

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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What do you say to a whore with two black guys? How much an hour?

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Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

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Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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What did the man on the moon say? Nothing. He died because his supply of oxygen ran out.

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Q: a black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? A: The mexican. They're going to the bookstore to get some books.

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Your mom is so fat that she has trouble walking up the stairs because she gets easily winded.

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How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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Rose: Mom, why was I named Rose? Mom: Because when you were born a rose petal landed on your head. Rose: Than why is my brother named Brick? Mom: I liked the name.

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Two guys fight over a girl. The girl gets up from under them.

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Why is purple the best color. Cuz icecream has no bones

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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What did the black police officer say to the white police officer? We just got a call in. Four dead children were found in an alley behind a mall.

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How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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Women's Rights

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A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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