What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

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Sometimes while i am play my music loudly in my apartment my neighbor knocks on the wall He is slowly losing his grip on reality and believes the wall is a door

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What is the Pirates favorite letter? C

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Why does Rebecca Black like Friday? Because it's the start of the weekend

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

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How old is victor? Half past dead

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What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

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What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

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why did the mexican work for a lawn care service I don't know why don't you ask him

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Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

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What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

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What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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