- Anti Joke

What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

What do you call a black man with a knife and red liquid on his hands? A chef who accidently spilled strawberry jam on himself.

Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman

what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

Q. what tall and looks like a jew? A.TODD

Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

What do you call a Mexican in the sand? A churro! (not trying to be racist, I'm even Mexican)

Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

There's a 4 door kayak going down the street and it loses a wing. How many doughnuts fit in a dog house? And remember its not yellow, because snakes don't have armpits.

What's green and has wheels? Grass i was lying about the wheels.

What's Worse Than Falling Over? .......Rape.

Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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