Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What's green, has four legs and falls from trees? A praying mantis that lost a battle and had it's frongt two legs removed causing it to lose balance and gripand plumet groundward from the tree.

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

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Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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What's the difference between dead babies and the holocaust? A lot.

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What's weirder than an asian? His dinner

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

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i'm an inbred jew - Barras

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A jew was walking down the street what did he see? the holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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