Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

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why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim

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Why was the boy crying? Because he was told he would never find a wife

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Why couldn't the blonde do her homework? She had no fingers.

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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What did the unicorn eat for a snack? Nothing. Unicorns are a majestic fiction animal.

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How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

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Cripples are lame.

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There are three guys on an airplane, a Korean, a Mexican, and an American. The pilot comes on the speaker and syays,"The plane is to heavy, throw out the thing you have most in your country." The Korean throws out an AK-47 and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The Mexican throws out a taco and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The American throws out the Mexican and says,"We have to many of these in our country."

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Scenario - Two astronauts are kayaking down the Sahara dessert. Question - How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse? Answer - Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Frontbut-

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Q: A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? A:They both take turns, because they are driving across the country and it would be hard for one of them to drive the entire way.

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how do you make a cripple depressed? stairs..

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A guy named M.C. walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "wheres the food?" The bartender says, " its in your stomach."

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A guy walks into a bar- he walks out of the bar because the beer was expensive and he didn't feel like getting drunk.

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Your mother is so fat, she developed diabetes and was rushed to hospital. She might not make it.

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A man saw a dinosaur yesterday. He had a very nice time at the museum.

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Why do bears go to school on Sunday's? They don't, bears don't go to school.

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Seriosly. too much sex again?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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