Whats worse than your roof caving in on you? Being stabbed by yard gnomes.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? The bench can support a family of 4?

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In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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what happened to the frog that had a car accident, nothing it's dead

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Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

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Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

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What is the difference between a pile of baby's and a new jeep? I don't have a brand new jeep in my garage.

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A mexican fast food worker accidentally drops a cheeseburger on the ground. Realizing the floor is most likely unsanitary, he throws it out and gets the customer a new one.

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What do you call a black man running really fast down a street? Active.

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what has hair? Organisms, or at least most do.

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You die of loss of blood, under a pile of first-aid kits

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What's worse then mud on your shoes. Being assassinated by means of a dart to the throat.

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What did the toy cowboy say to the man? Nothing, toys can't talk.

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What's faster than a Nascar Racecar? My thoughts. -Juanita

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life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

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A 14 year old boy's mother walks into his room whilst he is naked. The boy requests for his mother to leave; so she apologizes and leaves as the whole incident was rather embarrasing.

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? a broken head.

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What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

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Rain rain go away, and don't come back or else i will kill your family.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? a horse

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Q.How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb A.Babies are to young to screw in lightbulbs

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whats worse than 2 jews 3 jews

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A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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