why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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how many dead babies can you fit into a blender? 17 how do you get them out? Tortilla chips, but you'd be arrested by that time anyway because you just murdered 17 babies

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

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how do you crash a party? You dont because that would be rude.

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Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

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why was the boy mad? He had a lot of homework that evening

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bangers and mash?

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Roses are red violets are blue suck my **** and I'll **** you too

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What's worse than waking up next to an ugly girl? Waking up, sealed in a coffin which is floating on a raft traversing through shark-infested waters. Oh, and the raft is on fire.

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your father died

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Why couldn't the blind man drive? His sight impairment made him unable to fulfill the task without harming himself and potentially other people.

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How many women does it take to arrange my new Ethan Allen furniture? Just one, I was told it was divorce present. She took it with her.

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For no reason at all Pac-man was being chased by evil monsters while eating his luch...He choked on his food and died

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why did the boy lose his change? He had no Pants Why did the boy have no pants? The Holocaust

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minorities.....

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Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

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Why did the editor lose his job at a poetry magazine? Because he's worthless.

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How many of amanda todd's frinds does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question, she doesn't have any

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Two men were walking down the road when one of them spotted an old lamp lying in a ditch. After examining the lamp's handiwork for several seconds one man rubbed the lamp with his shirt sleeve. The men then continued down the road.

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Hey, I just met you... No, I'm your brother. You've known me for 30 years. You must have memory loss.

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What's 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and can drive a woman crazy? Money

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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