When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Well, life isn't a physical being so chances are low that it will actually hand you lemons.

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What did the chicken say to the butcher? Moo.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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A farmer accidentally trips his wife. She falls down the stairs and the farmer is quickly arrested for murder.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one does, too.

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Why does manure smell like poop? Because it is poop.

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Why arent guys and girls the same? Cause there different

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Chuck Norris is dead......

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a jewish man walks into a wall with an erection. what hits first? his erection

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Q: why did the white man buy a burge A: cuz he was hungry

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot

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what do you call one black man surrounded by ten white men.... A story teller

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whats the best anti joke ever? mine you dipshit

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Why is Dave's baby dead? Because his wife threw it into the path a Big-rig.

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What do you get when you cross a hooker with five shots of tequila? Herpes

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the government, your home is being repossessed.

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What do you get when you combine a baby and a chainsaw? 30 years to to life in prison.

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If a chicken and a half lays an egg and half in a half of a day how long does it take a monkey with a peg leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

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What's worse than finding a worm on your apple? Trench foot on your eyebrow.

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Why did the little boy wipe his face with a towel? It was covered with his dog's blood after getting hit by a bus.

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Do homeless people get knock-knock jokes?

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The Lord told Moses to come forth. He tripped and came fifth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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