Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

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Have you seen Stevie Wanders new house? No. Neither has he.

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A black and a white man walk into a grocery store the black man buys fried chicken and the white man buys vegtables. The men both have different opions and enjoy different food groups.

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Doctor! Doctor! There's a fly in my soup! Gross.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

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What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

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Do ya like waffles? Ya we like waffles.

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

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What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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A devout Islamic man walks into a weapons of mass destruction store he is shocked and appalled at how easily such dangerous weapons can be bought.

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops