What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why couldn't the girl make her bed? she is homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

how do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The fridge is on its side, the door is torn off, and the ruined food scattered all over the floor. Not to mention there is an elephant in your kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -20

"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

kara is funny she loves her money so she buys a bunny for her honey

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How many blondes does it take to finish a math test? 1 if she isn't copying.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do u save a black person from drowning? Take ur foot off the back of there head

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

thumb_up thumb_down -22

there once was a little boy who lived in a little house with his little parents who ate little food. one day the boy went on a website called antijokes and he started to read a joke, by the time he had gotten to the end of the joke he realized that there was no punchline but it was very lenghty and quite pointless.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

So a bar walks into a man...

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

a black man, a Jew, a Chinese man and a polar bear walk into a bar, the bar tender says sorry no animals allowed in the bar, so the polar bear left and the other three ordered some drinks and had a nice time

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

thumb_up thumb_down -24

God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops