Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

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What is the difference between a black person and an elevator? Well, there are many differences such as the fact that an elevator has a series of wiring and mechanics, while a black man, and white men alike, are human beings.

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

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A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

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Q: Where does the queen of england live? A: This was the question I had to anwser to be able to post this joke.

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Q:Whats big, red and eats rocks? A: A big red rock eater

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Q:whats the wost thing that can happen to you when you find something? A:not finding something

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

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Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

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What happens when you die? Your body gets decomposed by bacteria

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Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

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Why do we oftenly see african cry for nothing? Because this is the only way they get water.

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Obama

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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