"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Hay is for horses and other hay consuming mammals.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man walks into a bar with a giant banana as a head and the bartender asks why he has a giant banana as a head and the man says get me a drink and i will explain, the bartender got the man a drink and he started to explain why, so i found this real nice golden lamp and i rubbed it next thing you know this genie pops out and he said i get three wishes the first one he wishes for unlimited wealth with a snap of the genies fingers the wish came true next he wished to be the most handsome man ever with a spin and a snap the wish came true but this is where it went wrong, I said to the genie and i cant believe he got me with this one (because genies always put a twist on things) i said: i wish for my head to be a banana

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is the difference between a baleen whale and a black guy? One speaks and one says EEEEEEERRRROOOOOWWOWOWOWOOWRR!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

thumb_up thumb_down -14

An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs? Nothing, it cant come

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Who's Juan? DIS ONE

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is a black, yellow like liquid that contains carbon dioxide, usually kept in a can, and is not coke? Pepsi.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the little boy do when he got his test grade? Cried, it was 0

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock knock. Who's there? It's Tyler Oh hey, come in

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. I bet I can kick this bucket. He missed and had a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops