Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your mum is dead, Just fucking with you! Kelvin Yang.

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

Weaner

A muslim man takes a flight to New York. He lands safely at JFK airport.

How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

steven hawking walks into a bar just kidding he has a horrable disiese preventing him from walking

A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, drinks it, and leaves.

A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who is driving? They take turns due to the fact it is a long trip.

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I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

What happened to Johnny when he tripped over his shoelace? He was shot by the man who was following him.

If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. Who was the LAST one to hop it? the mexican because he had to clean it first.

How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

Your mother is so fat, she developed diabetes and was rushed to hospital. She might not make it.

why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

Why was the black man pulled over on his way to KFC? Because he ran a red light.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

Knock knock. Whos there Time to get a watch

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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