Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

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What did the chubby, dirty, hobo get for Christmas? Cancer

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A black man, a chinese man, and a dog decide to have a race. Unfortunately, they are shot by a sniper on a roof while still in the planning stages.

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A black duck walks into a bar. Duck: "I'll have a beer." Bartender: " How you paying for that?" Duck: "Put it on the tax payers."

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

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homosexual rights to marriage

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What do you call a spider with no legs? A spider.

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We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

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How can you tell the difference between Brooke Colbert or any other girl Jesse has been with? It's easy, Brooke the only one Jesses ever been with. They even share the same bra size.

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why did the boy fall off his bike? because his mum through a fridge at him

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Why did hitler kill the Jews? Because he had sever mental illnesses and anyone who thinks the holocaust is funny deserves to die a slow death.

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Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

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what did the jew say to the other jew in WWII?..... "We're both going to die."

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if you write treehouse backwards it spells gullible.

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What's funnier than New York City? ADAM STOCK! By Logan in South Dakota

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whats worse than finding 10 dead baby's in 1 garbage can... finding 1 dead baby's in 10 garbage can

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Yo mama so fat! She should be concerned because diabetes is a serious problem that can lead to a heart attack. Also STOP EATING MCDONALDS.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's cheese.

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Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Oh my gosh a talking muffin.

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A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops