What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

What did the homosexual farmer say when he answered the phone? Hello

What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

How many anti jokes can you make from one joke? 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33. 34. 35. 36. 37. 38. 39. 40. 41. 42. 43. 44. 45. 46. 47. 48. 49. 50. And so on.

Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

You know what's funny? Rape

Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

- How do you save a black man from drowning? - I don't know - Good!

What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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