Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

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Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

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What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

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Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

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What did the captain say to the priest? We're on a boat.

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Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

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Why did the Indian have a hard time getting a hotel room? He didn't. He owned the hotel.

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

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What's worst than being stung by a bee? being stung by two bees. what's worst than that? The Holocaust. What's worst than that? being stung by three bees.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What did the Rabbi say when the Priest asked how his family was? The Rabbi breaks into tears as he explains his family was killed in the Holocaust.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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What do you call a black man with a guitar? His name

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My brother gave my mom AIDS. My mom gave my dad AIDS. My dad gave my dog AIDS. My dog gave me AIDS. I gave my sister AIDS. My sister called the police because of the wild case of AIDS.

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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What do you call a german soldier? A Nazi

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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