- Anti Joke

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

What does a salmon and a falcon have in common They both live underwater except for the falcon.

Why did the orange cross half way across the road Because it ran out of juice

Lightning strikes 2 year old baby.

What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? They've reached sexual peak but aren't yet past it. Plus, they still aren't in their 30's.

I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

What did the white man say to the black man that was very interested in the story he had to tell? Cool Story bro, tell it again!

Three black men was in a car. They were going on holiday.

How do you get out of editable poly? You don't.

What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.