What mouse walks on two legs? Mickey Mouse. What bear walks on two legs? Winnie the Pooh. What duck walks on two legs? All of them, dumbass.

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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two kids see a girl naked in the woods They walk away promptly to their homes and tell their mothers.

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What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

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Allah walked into AK Bar

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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Why did the chicken cross the road So he could get back to the farm and lay more eggs

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Joey: hey bobby who you talking to? Bobby: oh yeah I forgot to tell you your mom died.

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

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there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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What's worse than a piece of food stuck between your teeth? I don't know, what? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

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why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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How do you stop a black person from drowning?.. Take your foot off his head

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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