Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

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What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

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This guy went to the store because he needed potatoes. So he asked the clerk where the potatoes were at and she said "Isle fiveeeeeee!" So he went there and there were no potatoes ! hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahajhahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahahhahaahhahahahahahahaahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahaahahahahahhhhahha

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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Q: whats funnier than watching a black man and a midget fight? A: anything technically, your opinion

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Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

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One sux, the other is decent. But supporting the sucky one shows u are dedicated.

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What did your mom get for christmas ? A stairstepper.

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Why was the man denied access to the college Because he did not have good grades in the past.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

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How does it change many dyslexics take to a lightbulb.

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What did the cow say to the chicken crossing the road? Moo

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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Why was little timmy crying? He walk in on his dad molesting a minor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops