What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

awkies when jamie and jacob hook up, and u have to tell the dog..i maen danni that this has been going on for 2 months

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not answer because he is a horse, and neither speaks nor understands the english language. He looks around, and is confused by his surrondings. He gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

A blond, burnette, and red head walk into a bar. They sit together and enjoy a few drinks while catching up on eachother's lives.

Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

69.

Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

What did the Rabbi say when the Priest asked how his family was? The Rabbi breaks into tears as he explains his family was killed in the Holocaust.

What do you call a Gay leprechaun? A homosexual ginger man with a pretty green outfit.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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