Your momma so fat.... She's at risk of cardiovascular disease. You should take her to a nutritionist.

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What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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There is an American, a Mexican, and a Muslim on a plane They give the American the 1 parachute and the Mexican and the north koreon explode

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roses are red violets are blue start sucking my dick or ill kill you

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A man walked into a bar.He woke up hours later and went home. By TheRealPaddock

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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Why? Because.

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? Hoefuwpugosihfioapfsoihosw[

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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OMG, I have a really funny alzheimer's joke. Your'e gonna love it! Uhh, I umm kinda forgot what it was now.

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There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

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question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

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A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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