When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

the WNBA.

A homeless guy was walking along the beach when all of a sudden he see's what looked like to be magic genie's lamp so he pick the lamp up whipes it off then sells it for black tar herion.

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

So a baby seal walks into a club.

why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

Knock Knock Whos there? Knock knock? Whos there? Knock knock. WHOS IS THERE?!?!? Knock Knock is, my name is Knock Knock.

What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

why did the man beat his wife? why not?

ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

How do u get high, meet a leprachaun, and touch a rainbow? U find a leprechaun shoot him, steal his pot, and run up the rainbow silly!

Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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