A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

What's black and white and red all over? A Nazi banner.

"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

HAHAHAHAHAHA.....shut up your joke isn't better.

Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

A Jew walks into a bar and says drinks are on me.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

Knock knock! Who's there? A Doorbell salesman.

Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

Roses are red Violets are blue I tryed to hang myself But my neck qad to fat

A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

Why was the minority sad? Because the police beat him and then he was raped in jail.

What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

it was a black guy a white guy a chinese guy a french guy an arab guy an irish guy and a juncky that was too much for a joke

Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

why did the magician stop doing magic ? he got hit by a bus and died

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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