There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two members of the KKK walk into the bar into a bar. The bartender asks, "what do you think of Obama?" One of the KKK members says "he is my President, I respect him."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Yo momma so fat she couldn't even fit in a house

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A black man bites into a watermelon. Just kidding he was white.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, there are many theories as to why the aforementioned chicken crossed the aforementioned road. The most plausible is that the chicken was wandering around, when it came upon a road. Being a chicken, it did not know the dangers of crossing it, and proceeded to.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the black man go to jail? Because he committed a criminal offense.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If u give brandon a stick he will most likely poke u

thumb_up thumb_down +1

rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

thumb_up thumb_down +1

i'm hard

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

how do you make lady gaga cry you poke here face then rape here.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

thumb_up thumb_down -1

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops