"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

i punched my mother in the face once she cried

Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

Sometimes while i am play my music loudly in my apartment my neighbor knocks on the wall He is slowly losing his grip on reality and believes the wall is a door

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

Why can a black man beat a white man in basketball? They are generally better at basketball Why cant a black man beat a KKK member in basketball? He valued his life and didnt want to die

Roses are red , Violets are blue You little dumb ass bitch Ain't fuckin' with yoouuuuuu

What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

How do you kill a blonde? You stab her many times in the ear with a fork......Then finsih her off with a spoon. No knives those hurts

What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

Dylan: "I dont understand anti-jokes"

What tastes worse than dog shit? White dog shit.

What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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