Carrot fingers

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welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

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there's a bus full of black people what do you call the white bus driver? coach.

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Once their was an ugly barnacle. He was sooooo ugly that everyone died! The end. :D

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A: knock knock B: who's there A:come in B:come in who?

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Q. What is the answer to life the universe and everything A. 42

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Sidney Crosby walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar like a pole so he gets another concussion.

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Why is an elephant big, gray and lumpy? Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Asprin.

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Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

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What Happens if a Muslim boy gives you a bomb? You give it to someone else as your playing tnt tag and the bombs a toy

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why did tom shut his bedroom door? grandma was fingering herself

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The child was fired from his job.

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what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

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How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

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what is red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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Why wasnt the black man entitled to a social welfare cheque? Because he made quite good money at a nearby hospital, where he worked as a doctor

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So a guy walked into the doctors and said, "It hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor said, "Well don't poke your leg like that."

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Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

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Q. How much Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A. None, they just steal one.

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What do you call a room full of jewish women with yeast infections? The waiting room of a gynecologists office, potentially in some sort of Jewish district

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CFL

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Why doesnt the chicken wear any pants? His pecker is on his head

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man ur hairline is soooo far back the archaeologists couldn't find it

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops