Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

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Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

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My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

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Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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An Anthony eats a juicy pickle.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

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Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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Why did the asain fail his tests? They weren't math tests...

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why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

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How did the old man die? He was shot after eating a rather large watermelon while skydiving out of a helicopter, boob fighting 5 toddlers.

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A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

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What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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A horse walks into a butcher shop and asks for two apple pies. The butcher says "sorry, but we don't have apple pies. It's a butcher shop." And the horse says "nevermind, I came here on my bike."

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What do you call a fish with no I Defected at birth

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Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops