How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

what's a snake that has no legs a snake

Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

what is worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped

Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

Roses are Black Violets are black I am colorblind, are you to?

Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

What do you call a black person who puts out fires? a firefighter

What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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