Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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what's small, red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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Q:What do you call a black man that got to the moon and back in a space rocket? A: A golfer, he is a pro golfer now!

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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guy walks into a bar.... Ouch.

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What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

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A black guy, a Mexican, an Arab and a white guy walk into a room and embrace cultural diversity.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

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What did the homeless man's sign say? It didn't say anything. You had to read it.

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What's the difference between Hurricane Sandy and Barrack Obama? One is a catastrophic event that resulted in thousands of deaths, countless power outages and homes destroyed, and millions of dollars in damages, and is said to be one of the worst tropical storms to ever hit the nation. The other is the President of the United States, who has put in an unbelievable amount of effort to fix our economy, create jobs, and make America a better place to live. So as you can see, the two things are extremely different. One must wonder why this question was even asked in the first place, as one is a human being and the other is a storm, making any common traits between them almost non-existent.

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knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

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What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Ferrari? That was my Ferrari by darragh hamilton

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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Whats the biggest party fowl? Murder

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Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

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FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops