Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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Why didn't the Mexican go to college? He was caught smuggling drugs over the border and was shot.

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

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Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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civil rights

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Weaner

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

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A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

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Whats the definition of not winning? Charlie sheen losing custody of his son because he is a coked out, old man douche bag, who only gets told what he wants to hear because he forks out lots of money to gold digging hookers.

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

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Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

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Did you know? that if you were to stretch out all your organs to see how far theyd stretch? youd die.

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How do you kill a Jewish person? Like any other person, they are like any other person of any race and religion.

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Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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