swag

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Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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What were the murderer's last words before he was put to death by electric chair? "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNFHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.................................................................................................................." He then defecated in his pants.

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in superbad, why couldnt seth take off mclovin's face and wear it as his own? no one can. theyre fictional characters in a movie

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

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What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

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Knock knock. Who's there. To get to the other side.

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:)Knock Knock :(Whose's there? :)None ya :(None ya who? :)None ya dam business.

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Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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Why was the teacher having sex with her pupils? Because it was 2145 and that kind of shit is common then

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a black man and a Mexican are in the back seat of the car. whos driving the car? their best friend

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bike? I don't enjoy riding bikes.

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A man falls off a building and dies on Impact

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Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

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a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

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Why was the multi-millionaire entreprenuer sad? He went bankrupt.

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What do you call a man with a spade on his head? Doug

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What is white, average height and cannot jump as high as a black man? A fridge.

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What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

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What's worse than burning your bacon? Finding your daughter decapitated and raped in the basement.

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Once upon a time a guy took his pants off why because he was touching himself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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