Where's Wally? In a children's book.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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What did George Washington say to his men before they got on a boat? Men, get on the boat

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because if he stayed on the farm, he would have been condemned to a miserable life, subjected to deplorable living conditions and an eventual pain-filled death by the hand of a cruel and heartless farmer. Crossing that road was his only chance of salvation.

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hi im bob i ate a Pickle sucked a boob and died of a haert atak

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looking for food for it was starving to death.

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Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

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What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

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What's white and black and red all over A nun with a spear throug her head

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How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

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Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

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whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

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Why did the baby die? Because I refused to feed it.

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A horse and a penguin and a kangaroo come into a bar and order drinks from the bartender, who later gets fired for taking acid while working.

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-Is this the Krusty Krab? -Yes, how can I help you?

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What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

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So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

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Knock Knock.

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whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

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whats the difference between 10 Ferrari's and 10 dead babies ? i dont have 10 Ferrari's in my garage

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops