A man walks into a bar. He then says "ow".

What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

Why did the Jews go into the shower? Because they had just finish a basketball game and they needed to freshen up.

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. YO YO YO I F U C K YOU ALL!

A man entered ten puns into a pun contest, hoping that one of them would win. Unfortunately, he came in third place and was discouraged by his loss.

time to spruce up!

What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was jewish and saw a nickel on the other side

Why did Sarah fall of the swing... She had no arms. Knock knock, who's there... Not Sarah. Face Face, who's there... Probably Sarah.

How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, drinks it, and leaves.

Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

what did Tim get for Valentimes day? nothing, no such day exists. spell check

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A guy uses Google locations to find his friend Chuck Norris.

Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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