What's funnier than 24? 9/11

What's brown and sticky? "A stick?" No, poo.

Why did the sperm cross the road? It didn't, as sperm cells have tails not legs, and are therefore incapable of crossing roads.

A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

what do you call a mexican with a rubber blanket cold

How do you kill a domb blond? Shoot her in the head.

KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

What's worse than a dead baby joke? A dead baby.

hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

I used to work as a human cannonball. I thought I was going to get fired, however during one performance the trajectory was miscalculated and I ended up severely damaging my spinal cord. I now work from home as a IT consultant. It's depressing.

Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

How do you kill a diabetic? Take away their insuline

What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...