Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

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what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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Q: Why was the chicken waterboarded? A: Because the guy liked being cruel to animals.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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A man walks into a bar and then, after a relatively short period of time, walks out of the bar.

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Who's the slut of the alphabet? C.

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what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

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I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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What's worse than falling out of a tree and landing on a dog? Rape.

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How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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Why did the gay man sneek out of the brothel? Because he was ashamed of his well paying reception job

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So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

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A white man and a drunken black man enters the bar, the bartender calls the cop and the black man is dragged into the police car. The black man screams YOU ARE RACIST! YOU DAMN RACISTS! The cops tell him he has been walking around the streets naked the last 2 days... Oooh... I am really sorry sir says the black man. He was forgiven and went sober forever. Moral: No moral, that is the anti moral in this anti joke...and besides I am a W class celebrity.enjoy life

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What do you call a white guy sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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