How do you kill a blonde? Pull the pin and throw it back...then proceed to paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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whats worst then antijokes? the holocaust

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the black man say when he noticed his crack was missing? I guess they fixed the sidewalk while I was at work.

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Why did the teacher need sunglasses? Because she taught in a classroom with a very big window and the sun kept getting in her eyes.

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What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

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why was the man afraid of the tree? Because it ate his mother!!!!!!

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How do you eat a sandwich With yo mouth bi tch

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Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

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What is worse than catching someone trying to cheat by looking at your exam? Getting struck by lightning.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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There once was an old man. He had worked hard his whole life to make sure his children got everything they needed, and that they were always happy. He had a beautiul life and a great big house with a marvelous view of the ocean. In time his kids moved away, and his wife died. The old man was left all by himself in the great big house, and sometimes the emptiness of the house reminded him of the emptiness of his own heart. He very seldom cried though, and kept all of his emotions inside. One day it all became to much for him and he took his own life in the silence of his great big empty house. I was that ocean.

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what did the Nazi say to the Jew? I hate you

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Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. The one stopped because the other fell off the bead and died.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Relizing its a used tampon covered with blood.

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Whats yello and cant swim A bus full of dead children in a lake

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Godilla walks into a bar. There were no survivors.

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What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

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An anti-joke

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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Yo moma so fat, it ain't even funny. Seriously. She is suffering real diabetes! Do you know how that feels? I though so...

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb none, because chickens do not have opposable thumbs,therefore prevents them from preforming such a remedial task.

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Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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