How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? One second let me count them.

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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time to spruce up!

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Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

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A man entered ten puns into a pun contest, hoping that one of them would win. Unfortunately, he came in third place and was discouraged by his loss.

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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Why did helen kellers dog committ suicide? You would to if you had massive clinical depression.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. YO YO YO I F U C K YOU ALL!

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NO I AM NEROCHAN LEFT!

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What do you call a cow that's not cooked? A cow

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What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

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What did the fork say to the spoon? To get to the other side.

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How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

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What did the man on the moon say? Nothing. He died because his supply of oxygen ran out.

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

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Why is did the blonde cross the road? She was trying to catch the chicken.

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What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

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What did the customer say to the waiter when he found a fly in his soup? Sorry to bother you on your break, but why didn't I get a fly in MY soup?

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"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops