If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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chuck norris threw a grande and killed 50 people then the grande blew up

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roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

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what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

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What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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What do you get when you cross isopropil alcohol,ammonia; dish detergent fluid, water, vinegar, and lemon oil? Window Cleaner.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 8, 9, 10

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Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

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Why are women bad drivers? -There are no roads in between the bedroom and the kitchen.

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

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Shelly tells Rob to go home... Thats what she said

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We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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