Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

"Ask me if I'm a tree!" "Are you a tree?" "No."

Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

Why can't Molly ride her bike? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Molly.

Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

What do you say to a whore with two black guys? How much an hour?

what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a pair of scissors? Nothing. That's not possible with current technology.

What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

I have a really funny joke.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares...he didn't make it anyways..

What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

Blind jokes are not funny! I just don't see the humor in them

Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and a Lepricon were driving 100 MPH towards a brick wall and crash into it. Who survived? No one, they all died due to the rate of velocity that the car was traveling at.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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