A man walks into a doctors office and waits for his turn. After his name was called he walked up to the doctor and told him that he kept having hallucinations. The doctor prescribed an antibiotic to help with the mans addiction to LSD.

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Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

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why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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Why are humans and squirrels the same? They both live in trees except for the human

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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why was the albino black crying? because all babies cry you racist

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If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

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How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

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civil rights

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what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

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Why did the black man have no toes? Because during his climb of Everest, he got frostbite and they had to be amputated.

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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had a good wank over anime yesterday xoxo dylan hodge

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Three fish swim into a bar. The first one says "blub blub blub". The second one says "blub blub blub". The third one says "I'm not a fish I'm a human". What does the bartender say? Answer = Ayy Llmao _George_Bush_

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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What is Black, White and Asian? A Panda Bear

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what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

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What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

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Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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