there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two babies are playing in a sand box.. They both start crying because they get sand in their eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your momma is so dumb she'd starve if she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store. -Actually my mom has a pHD in Nutritional Science. If she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store, she'd utilize that knowledge to maintain a balanced diet until a way was made available for her to return home.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the African American man afraid of dogs? He had a terrible childhood memory of being violently dry humped by a german shepherd.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your moms so ugly, that when i took her out to eat for dinner we built an everlasting relationship. Thats why you call me dad.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Do you know why the Mexican didn't like hot dogs? I don't know either.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did Batman tell Robin before he got into the Batmobile? "Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How did the old man die? He was shot after eating a rather large watermelon while skydiving out of a helicopter, boob fighting 5 toddlers.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops