Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

Why did the christian go into the church? To pray.

What's gay and Jewish? Henry Shine

How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

Knock knock. Who is there? The FBI. They have a warrant for your arrest.

A black man, a gay man, and an Asian woman are sitting at a bar. The black man gets a phone call, and after the call all three of them are excited because they are all friends and the black man just got into a good college.

What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

Why did the goat cross the street? It was running away from the Tsunami

Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? They've reached sexual peak but aren't yet past it. Plus, they still aren't in their 30's.

say it ten times fast: oh

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

Three black men was in a car. They were going on holiday.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...