what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

Knock Knock I have a door bell It's broken Oh

KCLTLMBAIMWSSHTCAWGAHW

Why did the kid lose his nose? because his brother chopped it off with an axe.

Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end

Okay.. So a dyslectic man walks into a bra...

why did the girl have pink hair? because she died it purple, but it didn't work.

How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

Cripples are lame.

apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

The american education system.

How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

Why did Maggie shit herself? Because she saw her son.

Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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