Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

What is the difference between a fridge? I'm sorry, I have a severe mental disability and telling jokes is not... F'tang F'tang Zoop Pong Wii!

Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

I like that, but why am I happy?

Whats the difference of how a hot blonde and an ugly red head got in to the same collage with a sex addicted dean? Nothing they were both very smart inteligent women with respectables GPA

What's funny about a black person, a Jew, and a mexican's graves being side by side? Nothing.

glasses, jacket, shirt They call me glasses, jacket, shirt man. I never leave the house...without my brodies. hehehe hahaha hohoho!

What do owls and cars have in common? Nothing.

Why was 6 afraid of seven? well if 7 8 9 then what happened to the rest?

Q: Whats black and white and red all over? A: I am unsure for I am color blind.

Why does the gaming console Wii suck? ????????????????I like ice cream????????????????

what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

Tim: Ya know what was wondering? Paul: What? Tim: Actually, I'm not wondering about it anymore.

How do you turn a piece of meat into a vegetable Break her neck

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

How did the Muslim girl get pregnant? She was brutally raped on the streets of Baghdad.

why is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich the same as a tub of fish? they are both food

Whats a black and white and red all over? i dont know...who spends their time researching this kind of stuff

Hey guess what? What? I have good news and bad news. The bad news is you're mom died. I lied about the good news.

Whats the difference between a black guy at the beach, and a black guy at the zoo? One is at the beach, and one is at the zoo.

Intercom:ALERT! THERES AND EXTREIMEST IS THE SCHOOL! Little kid: Sir, can I borrow that towel on your head? BOOOOOOM!

YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

if a sentence contains the words "Chuck Norris" it still has to end up with a period otherwise it is bad grammar and is looked down upon by American society.

Person A: Knock Knock Person B: Who's there? Person A: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest. Open the door. Person B: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest, open the door wh-- Suddenly the door is smashed open. Tear gas grenades are rolled in, temporarily blinding Person B. He is then dragged out of his apartment by nine federal agents who proceed to beat him and throw him into the back of an FBI van.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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