there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

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What do you call a german soldier? A Nazi

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What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

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If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

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Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

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A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

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Jacob Mckeand licks his gooch everynight. Some nights he even covers it in maple syrup. 'mmmmm' he thinks to himself as he licks his 7 inch gooch up and down.

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The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

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roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

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Why did the ANTI-JOKE book cry? -It wasn't funny

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

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How do you kill a blonde? You stab her many times in the ear with a fork......Then finsih her off with a spoon. No knives those hurts

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a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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How did Bella fly? Very badly.

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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A lesbian and a gay both lie about there gender on eharmony, trying to get a date with someone there own gender. By coincedene, they get matched and go on a date, and both of them realize how weird this situation is and go home.

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What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

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Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

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whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

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Why did the boy lose his change? He had no Pants Why did the boy have no pants? The Holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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