While running away a burgular cut his hand on a piece of glass. He fell to the ground bleeding like crazy. What did the police say when he saw the burgular? You've been caught red handed.

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A Vietnam war veteran accidentally goes to a Vietnamese concert and says, "I could take a lot of them down with me."

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What did one jobless cancer cell say to the other? Lets go get Jobs.

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knock, , knock , who's there the gas man the gas man who ? the gas man who is gonna turn your gas off !

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Knock knock! Who's there? Joe Barkley. Joe Barkley who? ...

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Der Ter-Rerks, nern ter serrentersts ers "Terernerserers Rerks", wers er dernerser dert lerved ern der Certersers perrerd. Ert wers er mert erter, prering ern smerler, plernt-erterng dernersers serch ers herdrersers ernd serrerperds. Ert erser hernterd der herned herberver Tersererterps, werd erverderns erf ferts ferned ern der ferserlersed rermerns.

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Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

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What's the connection between Obama and Michael Jackson? They both want to be a girl.

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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Why is my brother so bad at making anti jokes cuz HE HAS a sense of humor

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bench? A black guy is a living, breathing human being, and a bench is an inanimate object

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Find a half-worm.

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Brandon Bass's career average for assists is 0.7 a game. guess what his nickname is bassy

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,8

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Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

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Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

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Why did the boy get and iphone? It was his birthday

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A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

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What happens when you die? Your body gets decomposed by bacteria

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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