What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

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What do you call a black man fishing. ... a fisherman racist.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock knock. I've got a gun. Knock kn [*BANG!*] [L]

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- Why an Asian crossed the road? - Because he wanted to.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you so much That is a an example of the 2nd person and the identification of plants and their colors

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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What would Chuck Norris do if you insulted him? Nothing. He probably doesn't have time for such foolishness.

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Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

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an old lady walked into a bar, used the bathroom and left. THE END

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face" The horse responds "My daughter has cancer"

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

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why wasnt johnny in math class?....he slipped and cracked his skull on his way there, he is now recovering at the hospital

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. You're adopted.

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How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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what did the poor guy get for christmas POVERTY

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Who ate my sandwich? The office appliance that fell from the sky.

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why does osama bin ladens death make me happy? because he was the leader of alkida and created many threats to the u.s. thus the death is ending this creating more freedom. (OSAMA LIKES PENIS!!)

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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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