roses are red violets are blue i have no money could i have some

thumb_up thumb_down -18

You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

chuck norris threw a grande and killed 50 people then the grande blew up

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

jess always squints her eyes when making a point

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you confuse a Mexican? Stand in the middle of a crosswalk while shouting "Cthulu will rise!" whilst looking at the sky and playing "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung. Works every time.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

You haven't happened to see a cigarette truck around here have you? What's a truck?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Nathaniel Nugnes walks into a bra

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

what comes in a can ? Beans Where do beans come from ? Cans

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Correct grammar and proper use of capitals on the internet. Oh yeah, and a horse walked into a bar. It didn't think much of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

do you know cadbury choclate buttons? yeah, you know the white ones come out now, do you why? so the black kids can get there face dirty too

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A black guy stands outside the Tigers stadium with a cigar and tries to sell tickets... noone buys them... I have a comlplete raging boner and I'm gonna go beat off!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did the foreigners do to pass time? They blew up the twin towers.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

what is your moms favorite website? Wait did I say mom. Oh I'm not very sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops