Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

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why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? He's dead.

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What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

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What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

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Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

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how to name your chinese kid. throw a spoon dow the stairs

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why was the 6 year old boy crying? his mother had just passed away from terminal cancer and his stepdad caught him crying so he kicke hm in the face and told him to man up.

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What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

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I have a very serious problem with my narcolepsy. I occasionalolahdf;honainbirgnipqgierngiaqbhgpqruiph

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What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

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What did the black man do to the white woman? I Dont KNow ask him

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What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

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Your mom is so ugly that you should buy her a paper bag to cover her face because she is just so very unattractive that it burns mine and everyone else's eyes.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I workout, Don't mess with me.

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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