My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

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How did the man break his arm raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.

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Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

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Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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Why did the blonde run into a screen door? Because screen doors are difficult to see when one is running at full speed

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Why did the communist fail his history class? Because he didn't study hard enough.

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Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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What is the difference between a black person and a bicycle? You can sell a bicycle legally.

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What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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There were two bagels sitting on a table in Denny's. One bagel turns to the other and says, "So how did that job interview go?" The other replies, "It went great, thanks".

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I wrote a funny joke.

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

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What's worse than having to listen a song from Justin Bieber? Being wrongfully convicted of child molestation,rape and murder and spending 50 years in prison before being acquited by DNA-analysis.

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Q: How do you make a fireman cry?? A: Drown his wife

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Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

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Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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