Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

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Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

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A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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roses are red violets are blue polar bears are white grass tends to be green

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Lol, okay you have made Nero of the clan of the Moralians the mighty laugh and go aww... Seriously, first of all, WHAT THE FUCK IS NAUSEUS? Secondly, okay its Ridge Racer, close enough, aww, seriously that sounds like the cutest thing, I mean did you bleed? DID YOU HARM YOURSELF! DELIGHTFUL... Moral: Seriously though, seeing you tilt over while playing a racing game, kinda cute, just put a pillow there next time you know just saying, because I play videogames, I cant go sexytime for hours without pumping some ADRENALINE INTO MY MIGHTY ROD OF STONEFLESH!

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whats the difference between an orange and a dead baby? one is a tasty treat and the other is an orange

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So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

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Try not to laugh at this joke... Knock knock Who's there? Ha ha ha Ha ha ha who? I told you not to laugh

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Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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What did the fork say to the spoon? To get to the other side.

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how did the black guy get into school? he walked thru the front door.

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Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

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How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

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Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

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What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops