How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

why is six afraid of seven? because seven is black

hi

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

A muslim paints Mohammed

Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

if u ever get arrested by cop, just tell the cop this: "No no officer, you got it all wrong. It was only a game. It's called RAPE."

Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

Why was the Saudi Arabian terrorist flying a plane in America? He was going to visit some family on a ranch in Kansas.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

What is worde then swallowing a slipper? Swallowing a granny to catch the slipper

If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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