Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

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How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

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why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? 'Get in the batmobile Robin'

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What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Getting voted down to page 4067

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Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

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why was the woman in the kitchen? because societal standards placed her in such a situation

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Two men walk into a bar The first man says to the bartender: 'Can I have a glass of H2O?' The second man says: 'Can I have a glass of H2O too?' The Bartender gives them both glasses of water because he is not irresponsible to serve hydrogen peroxide in his bar.

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A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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Guy: do u wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah its to long Girl: Do u wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Actually that would make me very self concious I have ghonorrea and would appreciate not having to tell one.

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have u been drinking cannabel soup because you........ahhhhh!!!!! why are you trying to eat me!

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Like if you have a vagina. Also like if you have a dong. (Penis)

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Why couldn't the cat drink the milk? Because it had no face.

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y does byonce sing to the left? because black people have no rights

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knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

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Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

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A guy dared his friend to jump off a bridge for 10 bucks. His friend, fearing for his life did not jump.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Then the man pays for the beer and drinks the beer.

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Cleveland sports, lebron james' ever receding hairline

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability

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What do you call a blue and black dot on the wall? A fly wearing blue jeans.

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Your mama is so fat but she is also a very kind and friendly person so her weight doesn't bother me at all,

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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