Why did the boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a brick at him.

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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I don't drink. I'm not 21.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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i'm an inbred jew - Barras

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding 2 worms in your apple

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How do you starve a black man?.........take away his food!!

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You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

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A black woman and a white woman are in a bar. They don't talk to each other though because they don't know each other. THE END.

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Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

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Whats worse than spilling the milk? Getting raped by the easter bunny.

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I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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Q: what's red and covers an elementary school wall? A: a red crayon

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What's the difference between dead babies and the holocaust? A lot.

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Q.How do you get a dog to meow ? A. Put the dog in the freezer overnight . . Get a chainsaw and run it along his back in the morning . " Meowrrrr..."

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What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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Why did the duck walk on the moon? Because it was his lifelong goal

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There is a Asian a black guy and a white guy the black guy loves apples the white guy loves pears and the Asian loves Macaroni the white guy gets a apple the black guy gets a pear and the Asian has no lunch so the black guy kills the white guy for the apple and the Asian kills the black guy because he is hungry

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what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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