"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

If an ugly person got raped. What would that be called? Nothing. It is never gonna happen. Kelvin Yang.

How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, unless he's short. Then, he'll need a friend to hold the ladder for him.

why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

A guy uses Google locations to find his friend Chuck Norris.

whats worse than catching your parents having sex? having sex with your parents

Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

why did the chicken cross the road it didnt it got eaten

What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

What do you do if you see a cat crossing the street? Hit it of course!

What did the man say when he realized that he was late for work? "Shit, I'm late for work."

What do you call a chicken with the head of a shark? A genetic anomaly.

How many anti jokes can you make from one joke? 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33. 34. 35. 36. 37. 38. 39. 40. 41. 42. 43. 44. 45. 46. 47. 48. 49. 50. And so on.

Knock knock who's there? Gary Glitter ?_?

Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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