Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why is the sky blue? Because it isn't red.

thumb_up thumb_down

A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

thumb_up thumb_down

I have a very serious problem with my narcolepsy. I occasionalolahdf;honainbirgnipqgierngiaqbhgpqruiph

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

jack be nimble jack be quick jack is a parapeligic.....there's no need for more

thumb_up thumb_down -2

There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was it cold in Florida on Monday? Because there was an irregular cold front moving through. The Monday part was just a coincidence.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

there r three guys on a bridge. They r chinese,mexican,&american. They each have a bottle of beer. The chinese dude says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. Then the mexican says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. The american takes a drink of his and sets it down he looks at the mexican and says I have enough of these in my country and throws the mexican over the bridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did hitler cause the holocaust? YOLO

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Dear Six, Please stop spreading rumors about me and nine. I hear you two also do some pretty nasty things. Love, Seven.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is the definition of child abuse? Ms Bazan

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops