Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

What did the doctor say to his patient? You have 2 weeks to live.

You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

How does an asian man drive? He hops into the car, turns the ignition, slowly accelerates from his parking spot and merges into everyday traffic

What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was convicted of murder and rape

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

sky silverstein

why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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