what is big white and hurts when it falls on you out of tree? A refrigerator

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Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

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How many elephants can you fit in a mini? None. There are no affordable cars large enough to fit a fully grown elephant.

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I met a muslim girl the other day Shes the bomb

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how does hitler drink soup ? with a spoon

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"Is this the Krusty Krab?" "Yes it is, how may I help you?"

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Dane Cook makes a joke.

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What had 82 eyes, 7 mouths, and sings the blues? Nothing, the described creature does not exist.

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Why was the fat girl a virgin? Good morals

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Roses are Red, Vilots are blue Im going to kill myself Bye

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Yo mama is so ugly that she won an award for that

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Why is 13 the most hated number? 13 is Jewish.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven.

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I have two friends, Jeffrey and Barbara. You might think that Jeffrey likes sports and beer, and that Barbara likes knitting and cooking. But you'd be wrong, Barbara is dead.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Starving.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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Your mother's so fat she occupies more space than a thin person does and is more likely to bump into environmental objects.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I shit my pants do you want my poo.

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Jackie Chan walks into a bar.

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So there is this moose and he goes to a grocery store and asks, "where are the potatoes?" the employee says "aisle 5" and when the moose checks in aisle five, there are no potatoes.

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How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

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How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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