How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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I'm sorry but your child seems to have fractured his spinal column and can no longer control any part of his body below his neck.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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What is worse than getting hit by a car? Getting hit by a truck

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Whats the difference between a baby in a comma and an iPod? I actually use the baby.

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why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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How do you make an egg laugh? That is an irrational question eggs are inanimate object and are unable to laugh

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What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

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A guy uses Google locations to find his friend Chuck Norris.

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A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops