Why did the old man die? He was old.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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Why didn't the plane crash... because of the wight male piloting it

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Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

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What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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knock knock whos there the game __i lost the game__

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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A man walks into a bar. After recovering, he sues the bar for it's irregular glass doors.

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

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knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

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What's the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The anti-Joke isn't a freaking joke. So stop freaking doing it!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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