"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Knock Knock Knock" "Knock knock Knock who?" "Just let me in, you twat, it's freezing out here!"

Two Jews are sitting in a large oven. They realize it is a dangerous place to be and get out of the oven.

What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

I have a really funny joke.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He lost his punch line. -by Ross

Why didnt Timmy Go to school? He Died.

A horse walks into a bar You have been reading so many anti jokes that you can actually anticipate the anti-joke punchline to this joke, because it is one of maybe 3 or 4.

What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

What do you get when you put two landsharks together? Three landsharks.

What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

What happened to the woman who walked down a dark alley way? She found a lolly.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of its cage, was running away from its owner, and crossing a busy street seemed like the most effective way to gain freedom.

What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" A few people laugh, but the horse, incapable of speech, does not. He is unfamiliar with this location and begins to panic. In his panic his leg is broken. He is put down shorty thereafter.

Two gay men are seen walking down a street in Texas. Actually now that I think about it homosexuality is pretty much outlawed in Texas. Two gay men are thrown into a Texan Jail where they spend the rest of their lives, cold hungry and alone.

Why was the African American man afraid of dogs? He had a terrible childhood memory of being violently dry humped by a german shepherd.

Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

a man walks into a bar... he was then shot to death because he was a slave in the early 1800s

A baby seal walks into a club.

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. Fortunately, the bra was on display in a clothing store and was not actually being worn at the time.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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