Listen Nero, I understand now that this is your real name, actually I know where you live thanks to the good old phonebook... ...My order is fully based on respecting and treating all living beings equally and focusing on actually putting old notions such as Gods and superstition away in order to strengthen humankind`s belief in itself and others. As for Nerometal, well, that was one of my... Lesser followers, I assure you they have been taken care off, they will not be bothering you ever again. What would it take for you to forgive our transgressions? Money? Power? Ask and you shall receive, as far as your identity goes, you shall have it back and I shall use another site in the future.

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What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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knock knock who's there i am dead i am dead who i am just dead u idiot!!!!!

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roses are red violets are blue i like elephants

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You know what they say about guys with big feet. They have big feet.

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why did matt die? He had cancer

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Yolo Pierre because of Etzio tickle shits faggatron and individual nut join forces to become the shit suckers

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What's the best way to suprise your friend? Shove a banana up his ass.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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A man walks into a chiropractor. The chiropractor asked whats wrong with you? The man replies My boner has scoliosis.

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How can you tell the difference between Brooke Colbert or any other girl Jesse has been with? It's easy, Brooke the only one Jesses ever been with. They even share the same bra size.

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if you write treehouse backwards it spells gullible.

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why did the boy fall off his bike? because his mum through a fridge at him

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

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What's better than having sex ? Having sex and being rich.

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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What do you call a school bus full of black people? A school bus

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How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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