A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

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Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaust Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaust

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Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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What's faster than a Nascar Racecar? My thoughts. -Juanita

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Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

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Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

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What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

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What has four wheels and flies? A flying car.

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What's the difference between a goat and a cherry? You can't put a goat on top of your ice cream.

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What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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Why did the chicken cross the road To walk back

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

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Texas! You are doing it the wrong way! Learn from Hitler, gas is cheaper.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops