"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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- How do you save a black man from drowning? - I don't know - Good!

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No.. Neither have they.

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I think everybody should have a penis.

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

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A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

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Why was the woman on video chat? She was videochatting with her husband, he was out of town.

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What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

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What can a pizza do that a Jew can't? Pizzas can't do anything, so the answers are infinite.

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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