what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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9/11 my birthday

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a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

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What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

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Why did Maggie shit herself? Because she saw her son.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

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womens rights

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whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

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Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

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Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

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what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

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a man decided to climb a tree. he got to the top,raised his arms above his head and said "I am on top of the world ". after that he fell because he was not holding on to anything

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Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

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What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

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If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

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How many anti jokes can you make from one joke? 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33. 34. 35. 36. 37. 38. 39. 40. 41. 42. 43. 44. 45. 46. 47. 48. 49. 50. And so on.

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What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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