What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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it

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A horse and a penguin and a kangaroo come into a bar and order drinks from the bartender, who later gets fired for taking acid while working.

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You get the census of income per citizen and see who is at the top.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was jewish and saw a nickel on the other side

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Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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Why the african children was sad? - Because an octopus bite his arm

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

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What is a six letter word for cactus? Cactus

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What do you say to a confused blond? You help her with her conundrum.

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What happened to the Asian who ran into the wall with a boner? He ejaculated his sperm, impregnating the wall. The wall went to the authorities, and the man was charged with rape. He is now serving a 10 year prison sentence, with no possibility of parole.

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

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-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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2 mentally, unstable , woman visit the cinema , and watched "The Sweeney,"they really enjoyed it

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Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, the other is a lawyer

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Why didn't Joey play with the other kids on the playground? Answer: He was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops