jack be nimble jack be quick jack is a parapeligic.....there's no need for more

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How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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quiz is to quizzicle as test is to test___.

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Knock Knock. Erm, sorry to be weird, but can you perhaps use the doorbell, because it's new and has a novelty chime. I'm proud of it and get a little chuckle everytime it rings in the vain hope that, perhaps you, the visitor, may also find it entertaining. Who's there anyway?'

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What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse? A very odd man

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What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

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What did one tree say to the other tree? Nothing, trees can't talk.

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What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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Your mom is so ugly that you should buy her a paper bag to cover her face because she is just so very unattractive that it burns mine and everyone else's eyes.

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Chins in a phonebook? I don't get it.

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Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

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How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

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Rawan what are you looking at, stop reading this

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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What's long, dark, and smelly? The unemployment line.

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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