Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

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How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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Refridgerator.

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What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

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yo momma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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What do you call a plane going to Africa with 100 black people on it? A plane, the contents of the plane is irrelevant...

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Thats so awesome, I was totally not not going to tell you and when I saw I did not not type it I totally did it anyways, but why did it last even though stuff timed out? I am like so wet.

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A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

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what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree!" "Are you a tree?" "No."

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How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

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Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

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time to spruce up!

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Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

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How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

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Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

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Why can't Molly ride her bike? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Molly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops