Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because skeletons cannot live on their own and there is no such thing as a skeleton that can walk across roads without muscles.

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

What's funnier than 9/11? Nothing. 9/11 wasn't funny. It was a terrible tragedy, the most tragic in U.S. history. If you think that is funny you are a sick person. By: Logan in South Dakota

Some of these jokes are funny, others are sad.

Your moms so fat, she needed repruductive surgury.

A horse walks into a bar. Just kidding, it's a panda.

Knock Knock! Who's there? The doctor. You have aids.

Why is the chicken on the road? Cuz he died trying to get to the other side.

anti-joke.ru - russian style

Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

whats big fat round and bounces on the ground? a ball and your mum

Why did the chicken cross the road? because i was on the other side and we were going to catch a movie

What is big, round, hairy, black with a little bit of white and red stripes, large feet, small hands, squinty eyes and a purple beret? Nothing. How ridiculous.

What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

What did the nazi say to the jew? Nothing, he shot 'em

Jack, John, Justin, Joseph and Jimmy walk into a bar. They order a pint of beer and start wondering what their names have in common.

What's more fun then spinning a dead baby around on a clothesline at 50 miles an hour? Stopping it with a shovel.

what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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