Naturally us at the order of exile, the ones that learn and teach the ways of Nero do not exist. Soon neither will those that speak against us. - Azure Dragon

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Jordan is pregant

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Huh, I never succeeded in any of those, and I tried a lot. Please tell me you never gone with something nasty like that...

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Three fish swim into a bar. The first one says "blub blub blub". The second one says "blub blub blub". The third one says "I'm not a fish I'm a human". What does the bartender say? Answer = Ayy Llmao _George_Bush_

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Hitler walks up to a little girl at a concentration camp: - How old are you? - I'm turning 7 tomorrow! - Nope.

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how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

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what didn't I do when making this joke? Read and agree to the terms of service.

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A man walks into a bar with a giant banana as a head and the bartender asks why he has a giant banana as a head and the man says get me a drink and i will explain, the bartender got the man a drink and he started to explain why, so i found this real nice golden lamp and i rubbed it next thing you know this genie pops out and he said i get three wishes the first one he wishes for unlimited wealth with a snap of the genies fingers the wish came true next he wished to be the most handsome man ever with a spin and a snap the wish came true but this is where it went wrong, I said to the genie and i cant believe he got me with this one (because genies always put a twist on things) i said: i wish for my head to be a banana

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Q: How many Jews does it take to fix a light bulb? A: 2, one to hold the light bulb and the other to turn the ladder

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Dislike if you are a prostitute

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What is the fastest bird in air? NONE WHO NEEDS TO RIDE BIRDS WHEN YOU HAVE AIROPLANES!!!!

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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A gay man kisses a gay man and therefore is considered gay.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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whats big fat round and bounces on the ground? a ball and your mum

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bunnies are fluffy just like yo mama

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How do you kill a dwarf? You put rope around his neck and attach the other end to a concrete slab. Proceed to then through him in the ocean.

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A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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An American, a Canadian, an Afro-American and a Jew walk in a bar. They all order their favorite drink and go look for potential partners with whom they'd wish to engage in sexual relationships.

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What sound does a dog make? WOOF What sound does a cat make? MEOW What sound does a giraffe make? ...

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Roses are red, violets are blue No they're not, violets are violet

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A woman is terminally ill in the hospital and her family is trying to decide what her last meal should be. Her older sister suggests tea and the idea is accepted enthusiastically. The other sister suggests making jasmin tea and the ill woman's son also suggests toast. The woman's husband looks down at the orange he had just peeled for his wife and looks up at the rest of them. moments later he shoots the three of them and then himself. All were found dead. http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/local/2012/01/11/food-tiff-ends-in-deaths.html

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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