How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

Who's a tool and a NARC? Josh Brami!

What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

Why did the child cry? His sister just left for college

What did the black man say tovtye chinese man? Hello sir how are you today?

What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

A house comes around the corner.

Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

knock knock whos there the game __i lost the game__

Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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