What's Worse Than Falling Over? .......Rape.

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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Why did the man stop going to his local doctor? Because they put highly poisen liquids in the shots

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why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was taped to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it didn't

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A Jew walks into a bar...He uses his coupon to get a free drink, then leaves.

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Roses are red violets are blue I want to F%$# you with a rake

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Hey are you sleepy? Good, cause I just saw Jeff The Killer and Slenderman outside your window. Good night!

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Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

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Why are women such horrible drivers? Their hair gets in the way.

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what's the worst part about owning a prius? telling your parents you're gay

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A Jewish person had a robber in their house. Who broke in? Adolf Hitler

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Q: why did the black guy die? A: he got shot

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At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

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How many people does it take to paint an elementary school red? 27.

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A praying mantis is very graceful

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

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Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

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Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

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roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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