If you're happy and you know it get a life

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roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

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What did the sea say to the penguin? Nothing it just waved..

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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George W. Bush

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Why was the girl crying? Because I raped her

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What did the aliens say when they first landed on planet Earth? We've come back for Anthony Davis.

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Why didn't the lady answer the phone? She is deaf and mute.

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What do you get when you cross a Zebra with a Sheep? Hounded by a religious group for playing God.

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What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? A black man eating fried chicken.

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What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

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What do you do if you see a cat crossing the street? Hit it of course!

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Two antennas falls in love. They get married. The wedding was horrible, but the reception was great.

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My name is me I like fired chicken!

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If you say "Hi" to every tree you pass, is that being environmentally friendly?

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Q- Why did spongbob go to Detroit? A- He didn't, spongbob is not real. And even if he was, Detroit is not a very popular tourist attraction.

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, it's not that hard.

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There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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nice tits.

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Why was the phone wearing glasses? It lost its contacts!

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How do you get a slave to stop screaming from the rope he is hanging on? You stop messing around and you hang him already!

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Listen Nero, I understand now that this is your real name, actually I know where you live thanks to the good old phonebook... ...My order is fully based on respecting and treating all living beings equally and focusing on actually putting old notions such as Gods and superstition away in order to strengthen humankind`s belief in itself and others. As for Nerometal, well, that was one of my... Lesser followers, I assure you they have been taken care off, they will not be bothering you ever again. What would it take for you to forgive our transgressions? Money? Power? Ask and you shall receive, as far as your identity goes, you shall have it back and I shall use another site in the future.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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