How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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What is the difference between Acenaphthoquinone and Acetoguanamine? I don't know...

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What's the difference between epistemological pluralism.

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Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

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Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

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That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

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Rebecca Black walked into a stadium. There were so many seats to choose from. But, she sat down in the nearest seat she could find and enjoyed the football game.

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Q: Whats the difference between a trash can full of dead babies, and a porch? A: A porch isnt in my garage.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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42

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares...he didn't make it anyways..

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What's big and white and wilbkill you if it falls from a tree? My dick.

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What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

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What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

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What do you call a chicken with no feathers, no guts, and no head? Fried chicken

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What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

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I dyed my armpit hair blue yesterday because I wanted to start a new trend. My boyfriend later broke up with me.

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What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

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Jimmy Saville

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops