Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

What's white and sticky.... Jizz

Whats green and has wheels? Grass...i lied about the wheels

A dog walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "why the long face?" The dog replies, "because I am a dog you idiot, my face always looks like this"

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead get pulled over. The cop says "Yuck!" Then shoots the redhead because red hair is disgusting.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

What's worse than a monkey attack. Nothing monkey attacks absolutely blow.

How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

Why was the black guy homeless? because he has been affected severely by the credit crunch, been made redundant and had his home repossessed

If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you go into the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

What direction do 5 gay guys walk? I am unable to answer that because they are all aspiring to work in different occupational fields.

Why did the penis cross the road? Because a man was humping the chicken

Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

Why didn't the kid return home after school? He was having a sleep-over with a bunch of his friends. Who all died from a robbery.

Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

What did the white man say to the black man at midnight? It's really dark out.

if a tree falls in A Forest, would Robert Smith hear?

You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

Do you like fishsticks? Ya, me too.

How does an asian man drive? He hops into the car, turns the ignition, slowly accelerates from his parking spot and merges into everyday traffic

Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was convicted of murder and rape

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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