My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

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Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

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What is the difference between a baleen whale and a black guy? One speaks and one says EEEEEEERRRROOOOOWWOWOWOWOOWRR!

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why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

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A man walks into a bar with a giant banana as a head and the bartender asks why he has a giant banana as a head and the man says get me a drink and i will explain, the bartender got the man a drink and he started to explain why, so i found this real nice golden lamp and i rubbed it next thing you know this genie pops out and he said i get three wishes the first one he wishes for unlimited wealth with a snap of the genies fingers the wish came true next he wished to be the most handsome man ever with a spin and a snap the wish came true but this is where it went wrong, I said to the genie and i cant believe he got me with this one (because genies always put a twist on things) i said: i wish for my head to be a banana

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What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs? Nothing, it cant come

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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Who's Juan? DIS ONE

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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What did the little boy do when he got his test grade? Cried, it was 0

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's Tyler Oh hey, come in

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. I bet I can kick this bucket. He missed and had a heart attack.

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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