Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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knock knock whos there? police police who? police your house is on fire and your kid just died from broncitisand i just farted and u get a tickit because u answered the door naked

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Whats green? Mountain Dew.

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How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

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Why doesn't Helen Keller know how to drive? because she's a woman.

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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What mouse walks on two legs? Mickey Mouse. What bear walks on two legs? Winnie the Pooh. What duck walks on two legs? All of them, dumbass.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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How do you cheat your friend up Throw a BRIC at her face.

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What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

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Whats the difference between a bong and a nigger? My bong works

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at making jokes And your a jew

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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Joey: hey bobby who you talking to? Bobby: oh yeah I forgot to tell you your mom died.

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

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Why did the chicken cross the road So he could get back to the farm and lay more eggs

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why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

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An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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