Two guys fight over a girl. The girl gets up from under them.

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Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

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There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

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So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

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Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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what cuts the grass on christmas eve and lives in mexico? JP I lied about Mexico jackin it in san diego

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What's the difference between a prostitute and your mom? Your mom is a well educated lawyer who earns half a million dollar a year while the prostitute sells her own body for an extremely small amount of money.

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Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

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What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee and a zebra. A: A crossover between a chimpanzee and a zebra, mixed together.

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why cant black people swim? I dont know but they killed my family

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? I don't know.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your grandpa's dead So are you.

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When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

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Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if it weren't for the women our peckers would rust. By:Jhonny Thomas Spikes & Trenton Thomas Prather

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Women's Rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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