Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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what happened to the retarded dyslexic? he retard on his 60th birthday and took up gardening.

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Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud…

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what is worse than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? catching one with a pitchfork!!!!

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Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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I'm a burrito... With a big shirt.

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why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

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Yo' mamas so fat that your friend said a yo mama so fat joke to you. You were certainly not amused.

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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What is blue and has to deal with a vagina. Blue waffle you know who has that Jews But the jews got it from the gassing and the gassing got it from hitlers wifes piss but the blue waffle came from the lesbian she had sex with when she was doing her lesbian phase but the lesbian got it from her father and the father got it from his wife.

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Whats worse than your roof caving in on you? Being stabbed by yard gnomes.

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did you hear about the dyslexic journalist? he employed an assistant to double check his work. They worked really well together.

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In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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