This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

Why wouldn't joey pay attention in class? Because he was being raped by a grizzly bear.

My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

Roses are Black Violets are black I am colorblind, are you to?

A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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