Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

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How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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Has anyone else noticed that the very least popular and the most popular anti-joke on this site are both related to the Holocaust.

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What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? Velcro.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

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What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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Knock Knock Whos there? Knock knock? Whos there? Knock knock. WHOS IS THERE?!?!? Knock Knock is, my name is Knock Knock.

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What do you call a black man with no job? Unemployed

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Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

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A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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Guess whats in my hand. Can you guess? A gun. Bam bam, you're dead. Haha

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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