What did the elf say to Santa I'm not making any more toys fat ass.

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Have you heard about the Polish princess? There isn't one. The Polish monarchy was abolished in 1918.

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what is the best invention ever created ? ............ PORN !!!!

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Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

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How many cows does it take to screw in a light bulb? Either one super cow or none because cows don't even have apposable thumbs

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

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Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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Why did Teddy eat dirt? Because he was hungry.

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This is a shovels and rakes conversation. No hoes allowed.

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hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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The black man at the narcotics anonymous meeting said, "oh, this isn't bingo is it?" then walked out of the room feeling mildly embarassed.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -None, they will pay for somebody else to do it

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What do you call a green dog? A green dog.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guitar who? Violin.

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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Why are anti jokes so repetitive? Because you're reading too many, get off your computer.

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why did the black child cry? strange men cut his penis off

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What did the ghost say when it stubbed its toe? Ow

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay for it, eat it and then proceed on disposing the packaging of the klondike bar

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Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

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You know why no ones tried to kill Obama ? Picture him in an escalade!

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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One day Rebecca Black was driving down the street in a brand new convertible Luckily a policeman pulled her over after observing that she was far too young to be driving a car. Underage driving is a serious offense and should not be endorsed in music videos.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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