Q: What happens if you pee on a rock and scraches it on a tree? A: The tree gets wet

What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

Q:How can you tell an asian has just robbed your home? A: You took the necessary precautions to purchase a very high quality security system and you caught the whole thing on tape, and the man was arrested.

Your mother is so ugly that her physical appearance causes her to have a low self-esteem.

what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

what did the philosopher say, when he considered the transient nature of life in relation to ones own personal and egocentric grasp upon circumstance and purpose? massive erection.

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

Whats black and flys out of a car? Pupies stuffed in a bag.

What did the black man say tovtye chinese man? Hello sir how are you today?

A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

Rose: Mom, why was I named Rose? Mom: Because when you were born a rose petal landed on your head. Rose: Than why is my brother named Brick? Mom: I liked the name.

A blond, brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They find a genie, who tells them each one can have one wish. They all wish for the same thing, to be back home with their families.

if u ever get arrested by cop, just tell the cop this: "No no officer, you got it all wrong. It was only a game. It's called RAPE."

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

Who cured cancer? Not God. What do you think of the almighty now?

i saw amango it splootered

A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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