In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

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A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

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Whats black and red and dead? Nobody could tell, but they were sure that it wasn't a dead black person, so stop being racist!

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

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why was the woman in the kitchen? because societal standards placed her in such a situation

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

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what's purple and plastic purple plastic

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Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

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What do you call a blue and black dot on the wall? A fly wearing blue jeans.

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What's the difference between a goat and a cherry? You can't put a goat on top of your ice cream.

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What do you say when you accidently punch a wasps nest? Nothing.The correct choice is ton run as fast as you can to avoid getting stung by the entire nest of wasps.

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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What is white, average height and cannot jump as high as a black man? A fridge.

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Yo mama so short, she developed a debilitating neck problem from having to look up at people when talking to them.

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why did the kid burst into flames cause he lit himself on fire

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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theres a straight guy, a gay guy ,and a jew the weird part is the straight guy hits on the jew and the gay guy which make the situation all akward.

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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how many black guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?................ we dont know because u cant c them

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What has Whitney Houston got in common with a spider? They're both black and they can't get out of the bathtub

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a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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