What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

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Two men walk into a bedroom. Did I mention they were gay?

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So a man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest of this joke, but your mom is a whore.

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Why did the aisian man get pulled over? Because he was going over the speed limit .

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple You thought I was going to steal an anti-joke didnt you squidward

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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roses are red poo is poo

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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Can you smell what the Rock is cooking? Yes, it's delicious!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

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GUESS WHAT ?????????? THATS WHAT CAOMHIN

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, the other is a lawyer

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was younger, he was made fun of by all the bigger numbers. Everyday after school he would go home and wonder why he was made fun of. Was it his looks? How tall he was? The pain and suffering never stopped. He thought of suicide every day he got home from school. One day his mom got home from work and found 6 bleeding in the shower. She thought he was dead. She hurried him to the hospital where he was barely kept alive. After months of recovery, he started going back to school. The bullying never stopped, they started calling him a loser who should have died. He got older and depressed as a teenager. He got ahold of alcohol and began drinking. He went to meetings and got over his addiction. 10 years later he meets up with 7. It takes him back to his horrible childhood with the big numbers. Every time 6 sees 7, he gets reminded of everything. 7 had also murdered someone in front of 6.

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A white man and a drunken black man enters the bar, the bartender calls the cop and the black man is dragged into the police car. The black man screams YOU ARE RACIST! YOU DAMN RACISTS! The cops tell him he has been walking around the streets naked the last 2 days... Oooh... I am really sorry sir says the black man. He was forgiven and went sober forever. Moral: No moral, that is the anti moral in this anti joke...and besides I am a W class celebrity.enjoy life

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Why is the earth round? Because God saw it was flat and thought "too flat lets turn it around" And all was good.

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why couldn't the girl make her bed? she is homeless.

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A American seeking into mexico

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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A: Knock, knock. B: Who's there? The writer of this joke had no idea how to end this.

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Q: Why do black people hate country music? A: Because every time they hear "hoe down" they think someone has shot their sister.

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If Donald Trump was in Game Of Thrones, he'd probably be a part of The Wall.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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