What did the doctor say to his patient with cancer? "You have cancer...".

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What do you call a woman when you're inside her? Mom.

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Where did tommy go during the bomb? Everywhere. he was a cripple and couldnt make it to the bomb shelter.

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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Yo' momma so fat she buys clothingthat is bigger than most other people's clothing

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

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A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

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As he stood in her front yard with a boombox in the pouring rain, she leaned her head out the window with a smile and he was electrocuted.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van.

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What did one ginger say to the other We have red hair

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Q: How do you keep an idiot in suspense? A:

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A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

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How do you mess with Hellen Keller? Re-arrange her furniture.

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how do you get a scouters power level to 9,000? power levels dont exist in real life therefore cannot reach 9,000

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Why is the boy sad? He was getting bullied so he later on talked to a teacher and the bully and him settled their differences. The bullied boy still wishes the bully to go to hell.

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What's worse than hitting your thumb with a hammer? Getting your spine ripped off

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What did one jew say to the other? Hello.

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A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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What do a van and a pencil have in common? You can write with both, except with the van.

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There is a black man and a Mexican in a car. Who's driving? The driver.

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A mexican fast food worker accidentally drops a cheeseburger on the ground. Realizing the floor is most likely unsanitary, he throws it out and gets the customer a new one.

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Your Mom The End.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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