roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and grass is green due to the fact that there is chlorophyll in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do Native Indians and Asian Indians have in common? They're both human.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the Muslim say to the Jew? Nothing, as he has been deaf since birth and is incapable of forming coherent speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Scientists have discovered that the state of your hunger can affect what you say. For example, whether you choose to say ‘I’m hungry,’ or, ‘I’m not hungry,’ is based upon how hungry you are.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and get hit by a semi and all die.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Do Your Homework: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Get An Award At School: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Figure How To Adjust The Zoom On Your Computer: Mum & Dad - WOW HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH, YOU'RE SO CLEVER, WHO TAUGHT YOU THIS?! Typical ...

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the boy reading a book do? He finished the book and took it back to library.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the wife scream when she saw her husband? Because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q:Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? A: Because he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How many Terry Pratchetts does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you get when you put a blue bucket in the red sea? it gets wet

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What happened to the guy that got hit by a bus? He got hit by a bus and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is white and black and red all over.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops