Q: What happens if you pee on a rock and scraches it on a tree? A: The tree gets wet

"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

Knock Knock. Who's there? A cannibal. What? You are about to die and be eaten. Asshole! i will murder you first!

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

What is the difference between a ginger and a pile of bricks? nothing. nothing at all.

What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

Knock Knock. Who's there? grape. Grape who? Purple grape.

if u ever get arrested by cop, just tell the cop this: "No no officer, you got it all wrong. It was only a game. It's called RAPE."

What do you do when you find a blonde on her knees? Help her up, because obviously she has fallen.

How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

Why did the man fall off of his bike? Because he is a Sikh who was mistaken for a muslim after the events of 9/11. His neighbors for 5 years have turned on him and now are throwing rocks at him to alleviate their anger while he is biking to his minimum wage job as a janitor at the local burger king, trying to make money for a family that doesn't love him anymore

Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

Thats malarious! When something is so funny that... malaria

Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

moonshine most none americans think its just when the moon shines we have another story

i saw amango it splootered

Q:Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? A:The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythological creatures.

What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

Why does Joel's breathe smell?

What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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