Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is nonsentient, generally heavier and not necessarily light-dark brown colored, whereas the black man is fully capable of thinking and usually has dark toned skin.

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what do call a girl with a waterslide nose? Ava Sherman

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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LOVING BIRD DIEING BIRD DO NOT FLY AWAY

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your mum is dead, Just fucking with you! Kelvin Yang.

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Why was the Saudi Arabian terrorist flying a plane in America? He was going to visit some family on a ranch in Kansas.

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A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, drinks it, and leaves.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who is driving? They take turns due to the fact it is a long trip.

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Jim: Kevin, how old are you? Kevin cries because they are twins. His Brother was hit in the head with a bat yesterday and does not remember anything.

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Q: Billy has 47 pieces of cake, he eats 38. What does he have left? A: Diabetes

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steven hawking walks into a bar just kidding he has a horrable disiese preventing him from walking

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A muslim man takes a flight to New York. He lands safely at JFK airport.

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How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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What happened to Johnny when he tripped over his shoelace? He was shot by the man who was following him.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

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I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. Who was the LAST one to hop it? the mexican because he had to clean it first.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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