Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Im Black Im Black Who Open The Door Now Pancakes Granted

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person 1: hey! guess what? person 2: what? person 1: i once saw a brown polar bear

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

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Q: Why did Robin Williams kill himself? A: Because he was jealous of all the attention that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was getting.

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hey i just met you and this is c r a z y , but im a pirate so call me matey ;)

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who is driving? They take turns due to the fact it is a long trip.

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What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Join the bro army! BROFIST! http://www.youtube.com/user/PewDiePie :D

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Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

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Why did Fred fall off the bike? He was a shoe.

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Rose's are red, violet's are blue. Rose's die and viloets are more purple.

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

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How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

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Why did the clown get in the car? Because he can.

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How do you make a little boy cry? Cut off his legs.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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How do you get a blonde's attention? Throw deodorant at her until she looks.

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What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

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there once was a man named china who got stuck in yo mamas vagina he escaped through her butthole minus her butt mole and then died a horrible and painful death

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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