Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

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A blonde, a red head, and a brunette are on an island. Due to the law of averages, this isn't that unlikely or significant.

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Why are the dinosaurs extinct? A meteor hit the Yucatan Peninsula and caused a blast that covered the earth and killed them all.

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Q. If you're paddling up river and you lose three tires, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? A. Purple because ice cream has no bones.

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What do you call a white man without a face? Dead. What do you call a black man without a head? Negger.

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A gorilla walks into a bar. It goes on a killing spree, and is promptly put down by animal control.

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

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Q: What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? A: Ten babies nailed to eleven trees.

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Josh Moran sticks CD's up his dick to see how fun it is to give a boy anal.

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Myth: Everyone but redheads has a soul. Fact: No one has a soul.

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what did one computer say to the other .........

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Why did the man have no head? It was blown off in Iraq 2 and days ago

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Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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Knock knock? Who's there? You have cancer.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a serial-rapist with links to the Black Dragon triad. Yee.

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A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

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How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? None, any dog aware of the situation would kindly inform its owner.

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why did the chicken cross the road to get to your house knock knock whos there the chicken

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How can you tell if someone is a global warming alarmist? Their IQ on average is 10 points below normal

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Laughter is the best medicine. No, Heroin is.

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Is it considered sexual harassment if a midget says to a woman, "your hair smells nice"? Holy crap i don't like black people.

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops