What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

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why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

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Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

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Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

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Roses are red Violets are blue I tryed to hang myself But my neck qad to fat

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Why was the minority sad? Because the police beat him and then he was raped in jail.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!!!! lolooloL!OL!olO!LO!Lo!l!LO!L!O11P!lOL!oO!l

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How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

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hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing?

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My grandfather died in a concentration camp. He fell off a guard tower and broke his neck.

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What's heed and has wheels? Your mom.

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Why didn't Jimmy do well at school? Because he was recently in a car accident, which severely damaged his brain, making it difficult for him to learn things, because of his severely damaged brain, which he got in a car accident, which he was recently involved in.

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Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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Denard Robinson

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Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops