Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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Why are female badgers more attracted to the smell of cheese than male badgers? I don't know. Ask Bill Snodgrass

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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A man questions wether a cat will always land on it's feet. He takes a cat from a pet store and tosses it into the air. The cat lands on it's feet. Startled, the cat runs into the street and gets hit by a car. The man goes to prison for theft and animal abuse.

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What color is the grass on Bob's lawn? Bob lives in a apartment.

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

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Roses are bitches Violets are two, your mother is a bigger bitch then both

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

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what's white and bumpy? Milk. But it's not bumpy.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

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Why doesn't superman eat peanuts? Because he doesn't like them.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he was told he would never find a wife

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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What did the unicorn eat for a snack? Nothing. Unicorns are a majestic fiction animal.

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Why couldn't the blonde do her homework? She had no fingers.

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How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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Cripples are lame.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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