my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have 2 weeks to live.

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or word combinations that begin with "F" and end in "uck," such as fat duck, so you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "why the long face?". the horse answers..."i'm a horse"

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A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

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-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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How does your sister ride a bicycle? My sister does not have any legs.

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What did the Black man say to the prostitute? Your job makes the risks of getting AIDs and other STDs much higher than the average person's.

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How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

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Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

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i have a black man in my family tree. i am 25% african american among several other ethnicities.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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What is the proper response when someone says "My family died in a car crash"? Lol fail

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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