What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

thumb_up thumb_down -9

roses are red violets are blue grass is green

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats 9 plus 10? 19

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you get when you cross a stream with a prostitute? A wet hooker.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Elise's parents have four children. The first's name is April, the second's name is May, the third's name is June. What's the fourth children's name ? July. Elise is adopted, and thus does not count.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to its dying chicks who were just run over.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

So two men were drinking beer and one asks "Why are you so sad today, Lenny?" The other man replies "Because I was just diagnosed leukemia." Four days later Lenny dies and his body was buried at Cherryhill Cemetery where his family mourned over his death.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

knock knock, whos there? the bum bum boys ready to dance :) ``~ ``sms

thumb_up thumb_down -9

this is a haiku i have no idea where i am going with .... this

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between Hurricane Sandy and Barrack Obama? One is a catastrophic event that resulted in thousands of deaths, countless power outages and homes destroyed, and millions of dollars in damages, and is said to be one of the worst tropical storms to ever hit the nation. The other is the President of the United States, who has put in an unbelievable amount of effort to fix our economy, create jobs, and make America a better place to live. So as you can see, the two things are extremely different. One must wonder why this question was even asked in the first place, as one is a human being and the other is a storm, making any common traits between them almost non-existent.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the jew cross the road Because he was being cornered by 10 nazis that had automatic guns

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the water bottle say to the Itunes gift card Nothing,they're both innament object and don't have mouths.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was OJ Simpson's knife covered in blood? Because he just murdered his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Stevie Wonder valentine: Roses are black, Violets are black, everything is black, I cant see shit!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops