What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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what is fun to eat but dumb when its alive? A dumb yummy candy

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Ask me Whats 2+2. ? Ok what's 2 plus 2 4 you dumb ass

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A hooded black man walks into a Convenience store. He orders a cup of hot chocolate as it is very cold outside.

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

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So a guy gets drunk and walks into a gay bar by accident He then yells I LOVE PENIS!!!!! everyone yells oh yeaaaaaaaaaa

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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Who cured cancer? Not God. What do you think of the almighty now?

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Why did the blonde walk into the bar? To get a beer.

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Once, a woman told her son to be a peach and fetch some sugar. Little did she know that a genie heard her. The next day, she was horrified to find her son gone and a peach in his bed.

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Part 1 Q: what did Sally get for Christmas A: cancer Part 2 knock knock Who's there Not Sally MR

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So this guy was making a sandwich...

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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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why was the 6 afraid of the 7? because 7 was a registered 6 offender.

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Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

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What do you call an Arabic man who crashed a plane into a business building? A careless pilot whose recklessness caused him to crash into a building. His stupidity and lack of plane control skill led to a horrible accident that involved the death of thousands of innocent people and the death of many business people's office pets.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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Q: Whats Worse Than 21 Dead Babies in a Trashbag? A: 1 Dead Baby In 21 Trashbags.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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