How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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What did the chicken say when it layed the square egg? Ouch.

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I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

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Knock Knock! "Use the friggin' doorbell!"

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Why did Sally failed gym class Because she couldn't do push ups

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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A man walks in to a bar and everyone screamed running out the door.

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Why didn't the door open? Because it was locked

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Whats brown and smells bad poo

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What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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Your mommas so fat she jumped into the ocean and immediately had to start swimming.

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Yo momma so ugly, except she's not. She's looking beautiful today.

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What did the players of the all black NBA team say to the white rookie? "Congratulations for making it to the NBA! Your hard work and dedication has certainly paid off."

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What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Lets go get some tacos.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

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Many people believe that dogs are mammals. They're right

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A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to give him any drink. The bartender gives him the drink and the customer instantly dies. Another person in the bar asked the bartender what dring did you give him. He answered back.....poison

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Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

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Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

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How many blondes does it take to finish a math test? 1 if she isn't copying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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