Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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What do you call a gay kid, a horrible singer, and has long hair for a guy? Justin Bieber

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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What do Miley and Bill Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

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Three Jewish men walk into a butcher. They dont buy any pork products and thank the butcher for his services.

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- How do you save a black man from drowning? - I don't know - Good!

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I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

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What happened when the Asian girl got a B on her report card? She committed suicide

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What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

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Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

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Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Because he always increases the treble input in his songs, and he doesnt have a rod.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark. Because he's a grown man, and most grown men aren't afraid of the dark.

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Justin Bieber

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

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Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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What did the apple say to the pear? ...Nothing they can't talk...

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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Q:Wanna know a funny joke? A:Womens Rights

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black guy on a bike? Just because its not very nice.

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops