Santa Claus and eight reindeers walk into a bar. “Hey, fatty,” the barman shouts. “Where’s Rudolph?” “He’s dead,” Santa replied. “I’m sorry to hear that,” the barman said, looking embarrassed. “Let me get you a drink.”

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Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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Chris is hairy

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What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

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5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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why did the blue berry cross the road

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Why are Asians yellow? Because that is their natural skin color

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womens rights

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How are Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga similar? They are both men except Justin Beiber

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What do you all a black person on the moon? An Astronaut

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Why didn't the man get into Harvard? Because he had bad grades

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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a man walked into a bar today he suffers from depression from his wife leaving him and taking custody of the children on the grounds that he is an alcoholic and is unfit to raise children

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What do you call a black person doing labor for other people? A good friend.

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Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

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knock knock? whose there? i dont know. i dont know who? i dont know.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had escaped from the farmer's field. The family were not too disheartened, as the rest were still contained.

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

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what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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ACT 2 CHAPTER 4 GEARS OF WAR 3 TICKER EASTER EGG.... MICHAEL VICKS HOUSE

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops