Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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What did the white man say to the black man at midnight? It's really dark out.

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what do you say to a woman on her rags? nothing.try and ignore it.you didn't hear this from me and we never talked.

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Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

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How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

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What did the Orange say to the Apple? Hi

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Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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why was there a fish in a fish tank ? because if it wasnt it would die

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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A bartender sees Jesus Christ, George Washington, and Adolf Hitler walk into his bar. The bartender is drunk.

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A kid goes into the ocean on a boogyboard and then gets eaten by a shark because the shark thought he was a seal.

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Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

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well use a tissue!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Columbine was funny

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side XD

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no rasist joks

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awkward moment when someone pretends to be Mr. Bear and stuffs up his own joke

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Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

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Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

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What do you call a cow painted in red a cat ( PS : i lied about the cow + the paint ! )

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Yo mama is so fat she lost 100 pounds and now she's not fat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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