How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

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Maybe we simply need to keep the door open, but one cannot bring happiness to others, until one is happy oneself. Do I change something within you Red?

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What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

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whats big and white and falls from the sky\ Refrigerator

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My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.... I hate your guts.

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Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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Why aren't fish good at telling jokes? Their neural structure isn't capable of processing languages or creating a method of communicating with humans, thus they both do not know any jokes since they are incapable of understanding the concept of humour.

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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Why Tom is Gay ? Because brocoly didnt eat a mashroom .

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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