A Duck, a Mexican guy and Helen Keller walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What do each of you want?" The duck doesn't respond because is is a duck. The Mexican guy doesn't respond because he doesn't know English that well. Helen Keller does't respond because she is dead.

why is brennan hart a dumbass idk ask his mom

Who has a higher pitched voice than the average man? A woman.

What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

Bugs dance, so do ants, Oh my glob it’s Adventure Time!

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

Did you hear about the new brand of shovel? Yeah, it's pretty groundbreaking.

Why did Michael Jackson become white? Because he likes to molest children.

Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the span of 5 hours.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looking for food for it was starving to death.

Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said, "No change. He's likely to die, too."

hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

I used to work as a human cannonball. I thought I was going to get fired, however during one performance the trajectory was miscalculated and I ended up severely damaging my spinal cord. I now work from home as a IT consultant. It's depressing.

What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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