What did Steven Hawking get for christmas? A bike.

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How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

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What's worse than a piece of food stuck between your teeth? I don't know, what? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

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Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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A drunk guy walks into a car

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What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

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If you don`t see a banner here, it doesn`t mean it wont come back to annoy you whenever it feels like.... P.S, Advertising helps us get rich while permanently harming your ability to focus, Please be understanding! PS: Why the hell do they use capital letters after you know, Commas? its, Weird!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

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So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

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Why did the boy drop his peanuts and crackerjacks? He had a sudden heart attack and died at the age of 10

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How many fingers am i holding up? none, my hand got blown off in Vietnam

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

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knock knock? who's there Dave Come on in!!!!!

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How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

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Why did the baby fall off the swing? It had no arms or legs. Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in the face.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops