There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

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A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

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Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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A my dog was a rappa. He recorded a hit. But it had no lyrics, because he is a dog.

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- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a semi.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

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What do you call a black teen on Maury Povich? A mother.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

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Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

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Knock, Knock Come in

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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