To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

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A man with ADD walks into a bar. He then.......Damn Nature, you scary!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because i was on the other side and we were going to catch a movie

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a white van was driving really slow and he stopped in front 3 children. "do you want some candy" the old man said. the kids took the candy and the old man drove away happily, knowing he made someones day.

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Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

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Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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what do u call a fat guy in a pool u

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Roses are red, violets are blue. This is a poem about flowers.

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what did the black guy get from churches chicken? fried chicken.

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Why did the car break down? Because breakfast was done.

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djkldfnblfnbofgb

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

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Did you hear about the man with the bicycle? He was 2 tired.

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If you can cut half a rope. You can cut the whole rope.

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What is green and is not grass A frogg

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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A guy wearing a top hat walks into a bar. He says, "Ow."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops