Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: ‘In silence.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl? You could always eat the bowling ball if you really had to.

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Why was the little boy sad? -Because he was on Fire.

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Why was Samuel L. Jackson so tired of those motherf***ing snakes on that motherf***ing plane? Because if snakes are loose on a plane, they might bite you.

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Yo mama's so fat she got baptized in Sea World.

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Why did the little girl only walk half way across the street She fell into a man hole and died

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A horse goes to the mall and when he is in the checkout line there is a man at the cash register the man at the cash register says "Why the long face?" and the horse replies "hey buddy, watch it!!!!!!!"

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A man went back in time and warned nobody about anything and pretended to be from the time he choose to go to and lived a happy life eventually finding a wife. He later found out he had a baby on the way, he named it after his great grandfather who was a war hero. He later found out that many years later his son had a son and they named it after his grandpa. He went to the hospital where he died just as his grandson had a baby and they named it after his father. The man died. End.

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What did the baby say to the man? Babies can't talk ,the baby did not say anythingto the man!

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Why did the most interesting man in the world refuse to eat his buttered toast? It just so happens that the cook accidentally used stale bread, causing it to taste unsatisfactory.

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Why did Rebecca Black die? She killed herself due to the cruelty of many people

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why are you reading these jokes? i have nothing else to do. ok

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin that someone shot with red paintballs.

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What happened when Suzy fell off the swing? She hurt herself.

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Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

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Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

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how do you punish hellen keller? you can't she's dead

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Why didnt sally throw out her lunch? Her mom had a miscarriage, she was never born.

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Up High. *high fives* In The Middle *high fives* Down Low *high fives* In the Grass *high fives* You've been diagnosed with prostate cancer.

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Your momma is so fat because she ate alot!

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A man walks into a bar with a frown. The bartender asks, "Why are you sad." "My wife got brutally raped then shot last night."

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Why wad six afraid of seven? Because seven was a sexual offender.

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Why are AntiJokes so funny? Because your brain analyses them and makes you laugh.

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What is a black person's favorite color? There are many different colors and it would be unrealistic to believe that all the people of a single race would choose the same one as their favorite.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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