You know what pansies remind me of? What? A flower

What is Sally's favorite flavor ice cream? She can't eat ice cream, she's lacktose and tollerant.

Why was Tommy late for school? He got raped by spiderman.

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

What is brown and can't get an erection? Poo

I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have Cancer."

A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "why the long face?" The horse replies, "I am Sarah Jessica Parker."

Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint

Your moms so dumb that she has cancer..... wait thats racist

What do you get when you cross a RPG with a cell phone? A microwave

How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

What is the difference between a black person and a pizza? Nothing, they both taste like chicken

A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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