I man walks into a bar. He drinks four beers, gives the bartender his keys, and takes a cab home. The next day he gets his best friend to drop him off at the bar, picks up his car, and is three minutes early to work.

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-Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? -She had no arms. -Knock, knock. Who's there? -Not Sally.

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Knock knock. Who is there? My wife. My wife who? My wife is a prostitute, selling her own body for money so we can afford drugs for my son who has cancer.

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BOYS ARE DUMB AND THEY SMELL FUNNY AND IM ANGRY

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I find Holocaust jokes hilarious, Anne Frankly I know a few...

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A guy dared his friend to jump off a bridge for 10 bucks. His friend, fearing for his life did not jump.

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Why didn't Joe want to stand up? Because he had no legs!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he needed to go home.

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

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Q.How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb A.Babies are to young to screw in lightbulbs

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What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

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What has 8 legs and makes women scream? .....Gang rape.

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why did the chicken cross the street? so it could throw a fridge at you, you are very loud at night for some reason and you wake everyone up. the chicken then goes home to watch gay porn videos.

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Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Getting voted down to page 4067

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How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

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What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

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What is the difference between a pile of baby's and a new jeep? I don't have a brand new jeep in my garage.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? Just in case he gets a hole in one! -LEts Go Mets P.S the comment below is also very stupid

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why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was very unhealthy, and had a heart attack attempting too

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knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

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why didnt jane scream when she got robbed? Because she got shot.

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roses are red vilotes are blue i thought i was bent but then i met you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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